moriendum est

( personal opinion with a side of venting )

fandom: tbz
pairing: younghoon/haknyeon/sunwoo
rating: E
content warning: blood, blood drinking, suicidal ideation, allusions to depression, self-harm (self-imposed starvation), temporary major character death, not super descriptive smut.
wordcount: 7800
tags: drink it-inspired vampire au, human!younghoon and vampire!sunhak, "exes" to lovers sunhak, angst, vaguely historical.
a/n: one last goodbye to two of my favorite ships... I think I started this in 2023, definitely finished in 2024 after IWTV S02, and never posted it because it's bad and stupid and not very well written. the idea of bbangsunhak vampires had been on my mind since the drink it mv and I just couldn't get over it. (clearly.) big vampire leader juyeon is a byproduct of the mv btw, as funny as it is to write him like that, just like some lines of dialogue came from the song lyrics. I wanna post it now just to idk, begin the process of letting go by saying goodbye to this au for good. (I am aware how ironic some of the plot and wording is here.)

( Being the natural predator of humans doesn’t mean there are no rules. )

someone shared the template on discord the other day and sure, why not. posting this while watching idol radio so not many thoughts, just vibes.



I used to think hyunjae and younghoon were the members I shipped more easily with everyone but the 7 links to sunwoo, hello?! 6 for chanhee too.

besides, I'm a fickle gemini, my opinions may change next week. for example, I don't know how to link moonbae because my opinion keeps changing for them. (more often than not the yellow arrow is coming from jacob to kevin, though lol) let's be real here too, at the end of the day eric would kiss anyone and anyone would kiss jacob...

bbanghak is either making out regularly or they're about to, they just need to figure that out first!!! (eta: well not anymore I guess.)

I have a bad cold AND bad cramps AND I'm on like four different meds rn but!!! is anyone else over the moon about the voyaze!!!!!!!!

it feels like ep.1 went by way too fast, but at the same time it was just... easy fun? they looked a little tired (bbangcob just going straight to napping were such a mood), and they clearly needed a moment to decompress, so I'm happy we basically get to go along for the ride.

I'm hoping this will be a regular series, maybe with seasons? or at the very least the revamped cotbz. whatever the case, though!!! just this first episode was so cute... I need to share some shippy thoughts too while only 1/3 of my brain is awake.

is this when haknyeon was officially accepted as their new fourth or was this just the first time we got to witness it on camera



younghoon is SO endeared please they're so sunshine/sunshine coded T___T




*kneels down rips shirt yells BBANGHAK!!!*

heh. just realized I've written hak with the three of them individually but never all three at once. I wasn't expecting this development at ALL. I would've expected milcobhak, sangmilcobhak, sangmiljuhak, even anything with moonbae, milkev, etc, but bbangnyukyuHAK?! never in a million years... honestly even 2juric would've been less of a surprise, and that would be crazy too.

and don't sangnyu look like two dads here? maybe it's the cough syrup speaking but they look like they're married and two serious talks away from adopting a kid. nothing but respect for THESE dads <3




speaking of established relationships this was the cutest... the way hyunjae immediately checked with jacob if he wanted beef and even tilted his head to see jacob's face under the cap... imagine being loved the way jacob is loved. SIGHS.





and juric's whole schtick of trying to say the other can't do SHIT on camera always falls through at some point lol eric casually going "oh yeah juyeon hyung gets tipsy on makgeolli super fast" unprompted was so sweet to me. no one asked you, but thanks for the info, you cute attentive boyfriend.




I can't even be mad that they're constantly teasing and belittling eric on camera because he's clearly a) okay with it and b) doing the exact same thing to them LOL eric pls if juyeon had heard he was trash at another game that night he might've cried on his pillow... #theworldistoofast

ETA because I forgot: was IST editing out jacob's comments on jumil all this time or is he just suddenly enjoying poking fun at them? I'm still not over his deadpan "he kissed hyunjae" from the VVV fight video, and now the TIME OF DOGS AND WOLVES from the voyaze LOL jacob ily thank you for making me laugh!! keep the jumil commentary coming!!!

a general overview and a way for me to remember because I don't trust my memory, I'm already starting to forget some of this... segyeah (bless them) has a really useful thread with pics and videos.

(added info/updates in pink! last updated 250617)
( dorm arrangements )

( company rooms )

is this thing on? hello?

november sent me into a bit of a downward spiral, the brain hasn't been braining right, yadda yadda, nothing new under the sun lol that's what I get for trying to handle mental illness with The Power of Love™ instead of medication proper.

now that I'm on a break and all the stress-inducing stuff is more or less out of the way for a couple weeks, I can think a little bit better. I somehow managed to only miss one deadline/date (my gywo check-in... rip), and even got some reading in between?! incredible.

as a deobi I'm ecstatic because I got the best possible news (MY OT11!!!!!!!!!!) and trigger promotions were fun!! at the same time, though, I've been feeling like I'm losing touch with reality because the state of the fandom for the past couple weeks has been... mindboggling? did we all live through the same last 3 years, do we all remember we wanted tbz out of fuckass IST? did I dream that up? is IST employing psyop tactics just to fuck around or is half of the fandom straight up... not catching on that a lot of the people making a fuss are akgaes who got mad bermuda line didn't go solo? hello? can anyone hear me? [knocks on padded walls]

to forget I'm living through a simulation, I have some guesses as to what tbz might be doing in 2025! not actual predictions or wishes, just what I'd expect to happen now that the evil has been defeated they have different contracts with a different company, especially considering what they've been hinting at.
( just deobi things )