moriendum est

( personal opinion with a side of venting )

fandom: tbz
pairing: younghoon/haknyeon/sunwoo
rating: E
content warning: blood, blood drinking, suicidal ideation, allusions to depression, self-harm (self-imposed starvation), temporary major character death, not super descriptive smut.
wordcount: 7800
tags: drink it-inspired vampire au, human!younghoon and vampire!sunhak, "exes" to lovers sunhak, angst, vaguely historical.
a/n: one last goodbye to two of my favorite ships... I think I started this in 2023, definitely finished in 2024 after IWTV S02, and never posted it because it's bad and stupid and not very well written. the idea of bbangsunhak vampires had been on my mind since the drink it mv and I just couldn't get over it. (clearly.) big vampire leader juyeon is a byproduct of the mv btw, as funny as it is to write him like that, just like some lines of dialogue came from the song lyrics. I wanna post it now just to idk, begin the process of letting go by saying goodbye to this au for good. (I am aware how ironic some of the plot and wording is here.)

( Being the natural predator of humans doesn’t mean there are no rules. )

that "what a monday, huh?" "captain, it's wednesday" image but it's me going "what a year, huh?" "bro, it's february".

january-february has been just me plummeting straight into a depressive episode, then personal life stressing me out of my mind a little further, then coming down with a cold... I almost couldn't buy a ticket for the online streaming of the b land! even THAT sucked the joy out of me before I managed to do it at the last second. and the news of sangyeon's enlistment was just :(

I really thought we'd have one more year with ot11 before we'd have to go through enlistment hell, I don't know why. I was dreaming so high thinking sangyeon would get more musicals and hoping we'd get an ot11 tour this year lol silly me. they did confirm we're getting member-produced songs in albums (kevin was so direct saying THIS COMPANY BELIEVES EACH MEMBER HAS POTENTIAL :) thank you kevin!), and they did consider a comeback first instead of the fanconcert, but god. I'm sad.

I've been writing a few things to distract myself. a writing meme feels like the perfect opportunity to ramble about that, so:
( did you know I have a bajillion wips right now )

I'm laughing drafting this fic because why is this so silly. and why is it 6k!!! I had to cut down some plot points because I meant to cover one square more directly (cryptids) but that would push the fic over... I don't even know. many words! I've been stuck trying to finish it for over a week now because I kept trying to fit everything I wanted, but that would mean more plot, more words, more drama that would make this less silly than it is... so lemme appreciate the fact that I did, in fact, manage to write plotless fluffy hakcob with shape-shifter!jacob. yay!!

hakoween #2
caught in the love trap (ao3 link)
pairing: haknyeon/jacob
wordcount: 6k
rating: T
squares: shape-shifter au + jacob (+ cryptids)



I could always come back and add a second chapter in the future if I really wanted to go there with the cryptid stuff. but it's nothing much, so? I don't think it needs that. let's just accept in our hearts that jacob is, in many ways, a cryptid here. haknyeon surely has <3

got this from here! I stumbled across it while browsing community member posts.

The last five fics I wrote with song lyric titles.

from most to least recent:

mambo no. 5 (tbz moonbae/pre-ot5)
⮕ mambo no. 5 - lou bega 🎵
I tried to think of songs with "5" in the title (since I decided for no reason that the LA multiverse series has numbers in the titles), went "wait..." and immediately started cackling to myself. in my head that's jacob's song in this fic. a little bit of kevin in my life, a little bit of hyunjae by my side, a little bit of juyeon is all I need, a little bit of eric is what I see...

paris holds the key (tbz juric)
⮕ paris holds the key (to your heart) - anastasia OST 🎵
fluffy confessions in paris? oh, we're *absolutely* singing anastasia (1997) for this. it was one of my favorite animations when I was a kid, I love this OST!

a genius for your wish (tbz juric)
⮕ genie - SNSD 🎵
I really like this one because I mean, youngjae aka "genius" is granting juyeon's every wish. and it could also work the other way around since eric's fans are called genius and we all know who his biggest fan is.

life is so delicious (tbz milhak)
⮕ delicious - the boyz 🎵
they're cooking! and the kitchen is where their relationship blossoms! and I was listening to the "delicious" album on repeat when I posted this iirc... but mostly food! life is delicious in more ways than one.

underneath it all (tbz milbbang)
⮕ undernearth it all - no doubt 🎵
I didn't know how to title this fic so I had to dig through my playlists. I thought these lines in particular fit their story: I've seen right through and underneath / and you make me better. because underneath it all, behind all the glamour and the razzle dazzle, they see each other, and make each other better.

-

I usually title fics only after I've finished writing them, meaning sometimes it takes me hours to think of a title I'm satisfied with lol and since I don't listen to a lot of romantic songs, it's hard finding things that work as fic titles. it feels like I used up all my repertoire before 2019 T_T so these days I try to have fun coming up with titles first, and only look for lyrics if I really can't think of anything.

fandom: tbz
pairing: hyunjae/juyeon
rating: T
content warning: brief mentions of body image issues, vague references to harassment, drinking
wordcount: 4153
tags: models au (both hyunjae and juyeon are models), introspection, slight angst, developing relationship
a/n: wrote this one in 2021! never felt like posting but who knows, maybe posting it here will make me want to post to ao3 too? shoutout to isa for being so kind about it when I showed it to her!! :')

( Jaehyun has a specific memory that comes back to him from time to time. )