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who would've thought, I still know how to write!*
*debatable
jokes aside though, I'm glad I managed to accomplish what I set out to do with the deobi fic exchange fic. I was actually a pinch-hitter! so that was fun, especially because I got some great prompts to work with. the result was milcob royal au, with soft-spoken prince jacob and devoted guard/knight hyunjae. the actual prompt asked only for the tags childhood friends + power imbalance + prince/royal knight, the plot itself was all brainworms on my part.
and that was invigorating, because for a while there, I was a little too... empty-headed. stress, and the whole situation with tbz last year, and just not really having the passion to create made it so I barely wrote anything for the second half of 2025. as usual, fests are a great motivator because I'd rather eat dirt than lose a fest deadline - after losing many deadlines years ago due to self-confidence issues, now I *know* I can do it, and I don't want to leave people hanging, so I do my best to deliver despite everything.
the funny part is that I still struggle with anything too detailed. in this case it was the chronology. if I ever wrote original fiction or anything longer than a novella, I'd need an editor to hold my hand through it because why is it so hard to keep track of time, for example... I had to do a whole timeline in the notes app to organize myself, I was so confused!!! when is jacob's nephew supposed to be born pls I just know milcob wanna kiss each other!!!
anyway, I liked writing this fic, even though it may not land for a lot of people. I'm still a sucker for the jaehyun pulls badcob out of angel jacob trope, and the jaehyun helps jacob speak up for himself trope. one of the prompt suggestions by my giftee included the corruption kink tag, which I tried to subtly apply to this plot too - jaehyun isn't corrupting jacob as much as he's helping him come into his own, but still. badcob IS a corruption of the idealized angelcob, in a sense. #cobmeta #itmakessenseinmyhead
when I started writing the fic, I had two specific scenes in mind that I really wanted to write: their first meeting after jacob comes back, in the woods, with the twig snapping and the dramatic turn, and of course the final battle in which jaehyun would sacrifice himself to protect jacob. I kinda imagined the battle to be MORE dramatic, to be honest (I was picturing will and elizabeth's wedding in potc3), but in the end I was so absorbed in the universe rules and the politics of it all that it turned less cinematic and more realistic - to me! I don't know if it reads that way lol it definitely influenced the way I wrote the chapters before that; some things ended up very fitting without me originally meaning to.
which is what I like the most about writting plotty historical aus! there are so many little details and small scenes in between that tying things together in the end is fun. I feel very taken over by creativity by that point, even if I struggled horribly trying to plot things out in the outline. I'm definitely, most certainly a pantser by nature - figuring things out as I go is pure JOY to me.
of course I had to add family dynamics, too... I feel like anyone who has read three or more of my fics can absolutely recognize me during the anon period lol I'm predictable! family dynamics (often with a cold, distant parent) + polytheistic kingdom + smut that usually starts with a blowjob... I do have my favorite clichés. and OF COURSE, once I thought of the parallel between their first blowjob and the knighthood ceremony, I had to make it happen. mischievous and horny jaehyun, I love you and I support your mischievous, horny ways!
all in all, I was happy with the results, even if they're not much. it had been a while since I'd written milcob, and I've been writing a lot of contemporary aus, so a royal milcob just scratched both itches at once. it's the kind of fic that I know could be more, bigger, longer, but I can't write looooong chaptered fics as of now, so 28k was already pushing my skills. I didn't wanna make it too horny either, even though I could have - again, this could've been a loooong fic with lots of smutty scenes. that would've been very fun to read, but I don't think I could do it as a writer.
oh and titling it after jacob's rap in kiss me if you can was a no-brainer, THAT is horny badcob in music form.
jokes aside though, I'm glad I managed to accomplish what I set out to do with the deobi fic exchange fic. I was actually a pinch-hitter! so that was fun, especially because I got some great prompts to work with. the result was milcob royal au, with soft-spoken prince jacob and devoted guard/knight hyunjae. the actual prompt asked only for the tags childhood friends + power imbalance + prince/royal knight, the plot itself was all brainworms on my part.
and that was invigorating, because for a while there, I was a little too... empty-headed. stress, and the whole situation with tbz last year, and just not really having the passion to create made it so I barely wrote anything for the second half of 2025. as usual, fests are a great motivator because I'd rather eat dirt than lose a fest deadline - after losing many deadlines years ago due to self-confidence issues, now I *know* I can do it, and I don't want to leave people hanging, so I do my best to deliver despite everything.
the funny part is that I still struggle with anything too detailed. in this case it was the chronology. if I ever wrote original fiction or anything longer than a novella, I'd need an editor to hold my hand through it because why is it so hard to keep track of time, for example... I had to do a whole timeline in the notes app to organize myself, I was so confused!!! when is jacob's nephew supposed to be born pls I just know milcob wanna kiss each other!!!
anyway, I liked writing this fic, even though it may not land for a lot of people. I'm still a sucker for the jaehyun pulls badcob out of angel jacob trope, and the jaehyun helps jacob speak up for himself trope. one of the prompt suggestions by my giftee included the corruption kink tag, which I tried to subtly apply to this plot too - jaehyun isn't corrupting jacob as much as he's helping him come into his own, but still. badcob IS a corruption of the idealized angelcob, in a sense. #cobmeta #itmakessenseinmyhead
when I started writing the fic, I had two specific scenes in mind that I really wanted to write: their first meeting after jacob comes back, in the woods, with the twig snapping and the dramatic turn, and of course the final battle in which jaehyun would sacrifice himself to protect jacob. I kinda imagined the battle to be MORE dramatic, to be honest (I was picturing will and elizabeth's wedding in potc3), but in the end I was so absorbed in the universe rules and the politics of it all that it turned less cinematic and more realistic - to me! I don't know if it reads that way lol it definitely influenced the way I wrote the chapters before that; some things ended up very fitting without me originally meaning to.
which is what I like the most about writting plotty historical aus! there are so many little details and small scenes in between that tying things together in the end is fun. I feel very taken over by creativity by that point, even if I struggled horribly trying to plot things out in the outline. I'm definitely, most certainly a pantser by nature - figuring things out as I go is pure JOY to me.
of course I had to add family dynamics, too... I feel like anyone who has read three or more of my fics can absolutely recognize me during the anon period lol I'm predictable! family dynamics (often with a cold, distant parent) + polytheistic kingdom + smut that usually starts with a blowjob... I do have my favorite clichés. and OF COURSE, once I thought of the parallel between their first blowjob and the knighthood ceremony, I had to make it happen. mischievous and horny jaehyun, I love you and I support your mischievous, horny ways!
all in all, I was happy with the results, even if they're not much. it had been a while since I'd written milcob, and I've been writing a lot of contemporary aus, so a royal milcob just scratched both itches at once. it's the kind of fic that I know could be more, bigger, longer, but I can't write looooong chaptered fics as of now, so 28k was already pushing my skills. I didn't wanna make it too horny either, even though I could have - again, this could've been a loooong fic with lots of smutty scenes. that would've been very fun to read, but I don't think I could do it as a writer.
oh and titling it after jacob's rap in kiss me if you can was a no-brainer, THAT is horny badcob in music form.