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just bear with me okay
I need to put thoughts into words and see if I can unscramble my brain enough to be able to write again. ok? ok
(actually before we get to that and because I'm perpetually fascinated about it: I don't have an internal monologue, so when I say I need to put thoughts into words, I mean it literally. maybe that's why I find writing so fun? and so cathartic? I don't know, but every time I come across a new video/post about internal monologues I turn into the bee movie meme of the bee looking up. you know the one. what do you mean people are constantly talking in their heads? how do you get anything done??? woah......)
one thing I realized this year is that I do not, in any way, have whatever gene mammals have that make us fond of children. I don't hate children! they're cool, but I just don't have the patience necessary to deal with them. for a long while I wondered about that, if I would like to be a mom, if I could raise a child lovingly and help them learn about the world and about themselves and become whoever they wanted to be, but maybe it's for the best that I'm never having children LOL I'm sort of just an #okay aunt too tbh. and being anxious around children is the worst, PLEASE put down the scissors before dancing, PLEASE do not attempt to do a handstand on my watch, PLEASE don't put that piece of metal in your mouth.
I've also been on a sort of reading slump since I finished "network effect" (murderbot diaries #5). I loved that book SO MUCH, every single line of it, that I can't pick up anything else just yet... it was the weirdest thing (in a good way), I was delighted every time I went back to read it? maybe that's the book of my life right up there with "fingersmith". I love my books. #mybooks I have tried rereading "lexicon" since that's another favorite but progress has been slow so far.
mighty nein is now on prime! and I don't have prime anymore! LMAO so who knows when I'll get to it... please show mollymauk some love for me, he's my favoritest blorbo.
I never thought I'd say this but congratulations to deobi fandom, I am now more pissed off with deobis than I ever was with tomoons! 🎉🎉🎉 differences of opinion aside, I'm just so fucking tired of the "tbz is over", "tbz is dead", "tbz is ruined" crowd... if you're not having fun you can just leave? jesus christ. leave these boyz alone. leave US alone. I could rant for ten paragaphs here about how a) they're doing the same thing they've ever done, if you think that's them being ruined maybe you're just not into them anymore??? b) no one listens to the members and it pisses the hell out of me c) everyone forgot IST sucked gigantic balls and is now essentially all but bankrupt d) things haven't been great and I get it but the number of people who just wanted to leave the fandom ages ago and didn't know how and are now stuck in a loop of "oh I'm so SAD they're OVER I miss when they were at IST #thebestcompanyever and 100 #thatcompany RUINED them" is still astronomical. when will they figure it out that they can just not be here anymore. please. can someone show them the door. I'm begging on my knees.
(actually before we get to that and because I'm perpetually fascinated about it: I don't have an internal monologue, so when I say I need to put thoughts into words, I mean it literally. maybe that's why I find writing so fun? and so cathartic? I don't know, but every time I come across a new video/post about internal monologues I turn into the bee movie meme of the bee looking up. you know the one. what do you mean people are constantly talking in their heads? how do you get anything done??? woah......)
one thing I realized this year is that I do not, in any way, have whatever gene mammals have that make us fond of children. I don't hate children! they're cool, but I just don't have the patience necessary to deal with them. for a long while I wondered about that, if I would like to be a mom, if I could raise a child lovingly and help them learn about the world and about themselves and become whoever they wanted to be, but maybe it's for the best that I'm never having children LOL I'm sort of just an #okay aunt too tbh. and being anxious around children is the worst, PLEASE put down the scissors before dancing, PLEASE do not attempt to do a handstand on my watch, PLEASE don't put that piece of metal in your mouth.
I've also been on a sort of reading slump since I finished "network effect" (murderbot diaries #5). I loved that book SO MUCH, every single line of it, that I can't pick up anything else just yet... it was the weirdest thing (in a good way), I was delighted every time I went back to read it? maybe that's the book of my life right up there with "fingersmith". I love my books. #mybooks I have tried rereading "lexicon" since that's another favorite but progress has been slow so far.
mighty nein is now on prime! and I don't have prime anymore! LMAO so who knows when I'll get to it... please show mollymauk some love for me, he's my favoritest blorbo.
I never thought I'd say this but congratulations to deobi fandom, I am now more pissed off with deobis than I ever was with tomoons! 🎉🎉🎉 differences of opinion aside, I'm just so fucking tired of the "tbz is over", "tbz is dead", "tbz is ruined" crowd... if you're not having fun you can just leave? jesus christ. leave these boyz alone. leave US alone. I could rant for ten paragaphs here about how a) they're doing the same thing they've ever done, if you think that's them being ruined maybe you're just not into them anymore??? b) no one listens to the members and it pisses the hell out of me c) everyone forgot IST sucked gigantic balls and is now essentially all but bankrupt d) things haven't been great and I get it but the number of people who just wanted to leave the fandom ages ago and didn't know how and are now stuck in a loop of "oh I'm so SAD they're OVER I miss when they were at IST #thebestcompanyever and 100 #thatcompany RUINED them" is still astronomical. when will they figure it out that they can just not be here anymore. please. can someone show them the door. I'm begging on my knees.