Entry tags:
blog: so... 2021, huh?
this year was the year of having lots of ideas but failing to finish many of them. and the year of writing nonstop but never actually talking about it. that's not a problem per se - you don't need to announce everything you're working on if you don't feel like it! - but in my case it's just... silly.
because #issues and the fear of creating expectations and subsequently disappointing people aside, sharing things can be cool. so I'm gonna try to go over my year in terms of things I posted, finished, started, thought about writing and never did... and maybe also some considerations about why I like fic and ficwriting in particular?
anyway, happy holidays!
starting with stats because that's the whole point of wrap-ups, right? but there'll be plenty of text below. I'm letting the gemini out just this once.
🧡
STATS
wordcount on AO3: 185,791 (but if we're being honest, the total of words written this year should be 155,422 because 2 fics were written in 2020 and posted this year...)
wordcount on dreamwidth: 12,100
drabble september challenge on twitter: 7,000
total wordcount across works posted this year: 204,891
now, wanna hear something funny?
estimated wordcount across unfinished/unposted works: 57,500
🧡
FICS POSTED THIS YEAR
1. si vis amari (bbanghak, never let me go au) [hak collection #1]
2. 311/312 (sunhak, neighbors au) [hak collection #2]
3. you're the unforecasted storm (kyuhak, friends to lovers) [hak collection #3]
4. better half (sanghak, friends to lovers) [hak collection #4]
5. maps (hakric, friends to lovers) [hak collection #5]
6. gemini sun, leo rising (hakcob, coworkers to lovers?) [hak collection #6]
7. drop-dead gorgeous (hakric, true blood au) [9900VHS fest] + commentary post
8. ticktock (ring my heart) (2ju, steampunk au) [hak collection #7]
9. bloody hell! (kevkyu, college au)
10. if I had a heart (jukev, pirate au) [98fest] + commentary post
11. make it look good for you (jumilcob, pwp)
12. everything about you (milcob, small town au)
13. hell or high water (milkyu, strangers to lovers) [emofest] + commentary post
14. about time (bbangcob, gods au) [the hunt fest]
15. cry baby cry (bbangmilcob, mafia? au)
16. gate eight, cloud nine (junyu, strangers to ?)
17. mise-en-scène (hakric, getting back together) [die jungz fest]
+ cold little heart (sunhak, maverick au)
+ love is fucked (yuyeon, pwp)
+ a bunch of random drabbles idek here's the thread
to sum it up: 10 - if I had a heart was my favorite thing I wrote this year. 14 - about time and 13 - hell or high water were the hardest. all the hakfic (1 through 8 + 17) and the hakric fics (5, 7, 17) made me realize that haknyeon and eric are super fun to write. particularly eric! 12 - everything about you was my passion project this year - no thoughts, just vibes. shoutout to 11 - make it look good for you for making it to ao3 because most of the smut I wrote this year stayed in the gdocs.
🧡
(some of my) FAVORITE READS
I mentioned in the tbz ficdom server that I have a top 5 that I can't narrow down to a top 3. I lied. it's a top 6. BUT THAT WAS ALREADY HARD ENOUGH TO FILTER!!! anything I bookmark is automatically a favorite so that's 50+ fics since april alone, which is when I switched to this ao3 account.
when you know it has to end by suntheater
light off in that spot and until oblivion by![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
iceinmarch
the better part of me series by caihongs /caihong
i think i'll keep you by merryofsoul
e.t. (fine, flying) by weatherin /hitotachi
special mention to tullycat, karlarado, popliar (littlerhymes), saltjoons, dreamstonite, and neotbz as well because I don't want to make a top20 [eric voice] but I could.
🧡
WHAT ARE THESE MYSTERIOUS UNFINISHED THINGS YOU KEEP ALLUDING TO
so glad you asked, bold text.
let's talk drafts! I'll go over each of them briefly, in chronological order of when I was writing it, because that's the kind of thing I would've shared with people/tweeted about if I wasn't me LOL (are you happy now, past me? future me is judging both of us right now.)
january
- sunwoo pov character study fic? / 2309 words written / this was meant to be sunwoo in school, then starting out as a trainee, then meeting the others, and the first couple of years after debut... never went anywhere, though.
- juric smut / 746 words written / college au? juric is by far the ship that I have the most unfinished drafts for...
february
- bbangnyu smut? / 381 words written / this was just gonna be a short, sweet fic, with a bit of emotional hurt/comfort. idk why I never finished it T_T
march
- hakhwall college au / 266 words written / I meant to add hakhwall to the hak collection! it just didn't happen. this one would be slightly inspired by gilmore girls. how, do you ask. well, you see, hyunjun would basically be logan but less annoying!!! and hak would be like I don't know why you're like that but I like you!!!
- bbangsun college au / 8,800 words written / I was writing this from march until june, which is when I went yeah... nevermind. younghoon has some terrible insomnia and hooks up with strangers on grindr because sex helps him sleep? that's how he meets sunwoo. except sunwoo gets attached because he's sunwoo lmao in my defense I was sleeping like shit in march so this was just me going OK INSOMNIA IS A PLOT POINT NOW.
april
- nyumoon canon compliant / 238 words written / I told myself I wanted to write about 2018 nyumoon and THEN NEVER DID. I'd still love to read a fic like that, though.
- jumil canon compliant / 4982 words (finished) / started in april and idk when exactly I finished it but I was editing it up until august! lots of jumil thoughts this year. this is the fic I kept thinking of as The Skinship Contract Fic. the tentative title is "sincerely, hyunjae" because a) it's. well. it's from hyunjae's pov and b) I wrote like 80% of this while listening to sincerely, jane on repeat.
june
- juric canon compliant / 900 words written / they'd get stuck in an elevator and eric would short-circuit because that's like, the start of a romcom. eric knows that for sure, he's seen enough movies to know exactly how this ends!!
- sunhak pwp / 1267 words (finished) / literally just hate sex :')
- milcob hp au / plot bunny, 0 words written / no idea where this idea came from? I tabled this and went for the small town au instead. this one would be really short, just chaotic good!jacob getting into some trouble and hyunjae immediately falling for him because of course...
july
- batbsof sequel jumilcob/jukyu / technically 11,000 words written but a lot of it in 2020 / this is my only real goal for 2022, to finally finish this... just because I really love that universe and the sequel is inspired by the reveal catching fire stage :c the doc was last edited back in july so that's why I'm adding it here.
- bbangnyumil the devil wears prada au / plot bunny, 0 words written / I was watching the devil wears prada again and had an epiphany... this was supposed to be my november project! but then I bailed.
august
- jumil tattoo artist / 1055 words written / this was when that tumblr post about people moaning? while getting a tattoo was going around twitter... NO ONE MOANS HERE but I thought that scenario would be hilarious with these two lol
- bbangmilkev canon compliant pwp / 11585 (finished?) / the ending needs some work but it's technically done. I finished it around november. it's so bad. they're gym buddies! kevin pov! younghoon is more unhinged than usual here!
september
- juric pwp / 4347 words (finished) / this is just too horny for ao3 but it exists. one of the fics born out of me going "so many people write about this... can I do it" and turns out I can't! but always fun trying to write juric.
- sanghak pwp / 2631 words (finished) / SEPTEMBER WAS HORNY MONTH, APPARENTLY. I think I wrote this right after writing sanghak for one of the drabbles? I was like nah 500 words is not enough I need to write a proper sanghak smut.
october
- some sunwoo-centric unhinged pwp / 5050 words written / idek. usually when I'm going through writer's block or am feeling shitty for some reason I write smut... this is 5000 words of that.
november
- bbanghak college au / 3363 words written / this was supposed to be my christmas gift to myself but I bailed lol maybe I can go back to it at some point??? just to amuse myself, if anything.
- seohee alternate universe / 1455 words written / an old gunwoong (keonwoong..) prompt repurposed for seohee because apparently I go here now?
- sunwoo/? canon compliant / 1981 words written / I never settled on a pairing but then again this is so angsty, maybe it's best if I never get far enough for the romance to come into play lol
december
- jumil models au / 3232 words written / I'm finishing this, gdi. it'siceinmarch's prompt idea so thank you and I'm sorry!
- [redacted] secret santa fic / [redacted] words written (finished) / this is only coming out in the new years so technically it will be a 2022 fic but let it be known... this took over most of my december. never knew it'd be so challenging to write [LOUDLY BANGS POTS AND PANS OVER MY OWN VOICE]
🧡
SO... 2022, HUH?
the thing about fic is that I really, really like the idea of working around an existing universe/concept. both because I can't exactly come up with my own and need that foundation to be able to do anything in the first place, and because I think it's pretty fun. you're building onto something and that's cool! adding your own flavor to things, exercising your creativity in terms of how far you can bend canon while still have it be recognizable enough to be considered fanfic, sharing your love for something with others (in this case, our love for a band/artist)... I could go on, but my point here is: I have fun with fic. and I like sharing that fun with other people, to the best of my terrible social skills, so I'm not screaming in comments just because I have a cancer mercury, but because the community/feedback aspect of ficwriting is very dear to me.
I've been writing since forever. when I was a kid I used to think I'd write books! I'd be a Writer! something I gave up on pretty early, but I do still like to write. I've been writing fic on and off since 2010, and the years when I didn't - either because I didn't have the time/peace of mind to do so, or because I was drifting from fandom to fandom - were excruciating. no joke, there's something about writing (or doing anything creative, really, but I can't draw and I stopped dancing in high school; writing is all I have) that gives me so much peace. it can be the silliest thing. fairy people arguing about soap! two idiots arguing in the car! pretty people finding other pretty people to make out with! but just doing something creative is so very freeing to me.
all of it to say: the numbers are a reminder that I've been writing, more than anything else. my goal is always to just write things. so that's my goal for 2022 too, to just keep writing. wordcounts are secondary. the important thing is that I like doing this, and these fics (be it my own or the ones I read) are a good and important distraction from, well, [gestures vaguely] the whole life thing, too.
(but also if I could finish that batbsof sequel, that would be awesome. please and thank you, @ future me.)
fandom can be a magical place if we let it be that way. and fanfic can be magic itself. so to everyone who contributed to make my 2021 a little more magical and a little less lonely, thank you! 🧡
because #issues and the fear of creating expectations and subsequently disappointing people aside, sharing things can be cool. so I'm gonna try to go over my year in terms of things I posted, finished, started, thought about writing and never did... and maybe also some considerations about why I like fic and ficwriting in particular?
anyway, happy holidays!
starting with stats because that's the whole point of wrap-ups, right? but there'll be plenty of text below. I'm letting the gemini out just this once.
STATS
wordcount on AO3: 185,791 (but if we're being honest, the total of words written this year should be 155,422 because 2 fics were written in 2020 and posted this year...)
wordcount on dreamwidth: 12,100
drabble september challenge on twitter: 7,000
total wordcount across works posted this year: 204,891
now, wanna hear something funny?
estimated wordcount across unfinished/unposted works: 57,500
FICS POSTED THIS YEAR
1. si vis amari (bbanghak, never let me go au) [hak collection #1]
2. 311/312 (sunhak, neighbors au) [hak collection #2]
3. you're the unforecasted storm (kyuhak, friends to lovers) [hak collection #3]
4. better half (sanghak, friends to lovers) [hak collection #4]
5. maps (hakric, friends to lovers) [hak collection #5]
6. gemini sun, leo rising (hakcob, coworkers to lovers?) [hak collection #6]
7. drop-dead gorgeous (hakric, true blood au) [9900VHS fest] + commentary post
8. ticktock (ring my heart) (2ju, steampunk au) [hak collection #7]
9. bloody hell! (kevkyu, college au)
10. if I had a heart (jukev, pirate au) [98fest] + commentary post
11. make it look good for you (jumilcob, pwp)
12. everything about you (milcob, small town au)
13. hell or high water (milkyu, strangers to lovers) [emofest] + commentary post
14. about time (bbangcob, gods au) [the hunt fest]
15. cry baby cry (bbangmilcob, mafia? au)
16. gate eight, cloud nine (junyu, strangers to ?)
17. mise-en-scène (hakric, getting back together) [die jungz fest]
+ cold little heart (sunhak, maverick au)
+ love is fucked (yuyeon, pwp)
+ a bunch of random drabbles idek here's the thread
to sum it up: 10 - if I had a heart was my favorite thing I wrote this year. 14 - about time and 13 - hell or high water were the hardest. all the hakfic (1 through 8 + 17) and the hakric fics (5, 7, 17) made me realize that haknyeon and eric are super fun to write. particularly eric! 12 - everything about you was my passion project this year - no thoughts, just vibes. shoutout to 11 - make it look good for you for making it to ao3 because most of the smut I wrote this year stayed in the gdocs.
(some of my) FAVORITE READS
I mentioned in the tbz ficdom server that I have a top 5 that I can't narrow down to a top 3. I lied. it's a top 6. BUT THAT WAS ALREADY HARD ENOUGH TO FILTER!!! anything I bookmark is automatically a favorite so that's 50+ fics since april alone, which is when I switched to this ao3 account.
when you know it has to end by suntheater
light off in that spot and until oblivion by
iceinmarchthe better part of me series by caihongs /
caihongi think i'll keep you by merryofsoul
e.t. (fine, flying) by weatherin /
hitotachispecial mention to tullycat, karlarado, popliar (littlerhymes), saltjoons, dreamstonite, and neotbz as well because I don't want to make a top20 [eric voice] but I could.
WHAT ARE THESE MYSTERIOUS UNFINISHED THINGS YOU KEEP ALLUDING TO
so glad you asked, bold text.
let's talk drafts! I'll go over each of them briefly, in chronological order of when I was writing it, because that's the kind of thing I would've shared with people/tweeted about if I wasn't me LOL (are you happy now, past me? future me is judging both of us right now.)
january
- sunwoo pov character study fic? / 2309 words written / this was meant to be sunwoo in school, then starting out as a trainee, then meeting the others, and the first couple of years after debut... never went anywhere, though.
- juric smut / 746 words written / college au? juric is by far the ship that I have the most unfinished drafts for...
february
- bbangnyu smut? / 381 words written / this was just gonna be a short, sweet fic, with a bit of emotional hurt/comfort. idk why I never finished it T_T
march
- hakhwall college au / 266 words written / I meant to add hakhwall to the hak collection! it just didn't happen. this one would be slightly inspired by gilmore girls. how, do you ask. well, you see, hyunjun would basically be logan but less annoying!!! and hak would be like I don't know why you're like that but I like you!!!
- bbangsun college au / 8,800 words written / I was writing this from march until june, which is when I went yeah... nevermind. younghoon has some terrible insomnia and hooks up with strangers on grindr because sex helps him sleep? that's how he meets sunwoo. except sunwoo gets attached because he's sunwoo lmao in my defense I was sleeping like shit in march so this was just me going OK INSOMNIA IS A PLOT POINT NOW.
april
- nyumoon canon compliant / 238 words written / I told myself I wanted to write about 2018 nyumoon and THEN NEVER DID. I'd still love to read a fic like that, though.
- jumil canon compliant / 4982 words (finished) / started in april and idk when exactly I finished it but I was editing it up until august! lots of jumil thoughts this year. this is the fic I kept thinking of as The Skinship Contract Fic. the tentative title is "sincerely, hyunjae" because a) it's. well. it's from hyunjae's pov and b) I wrote like 80% of this while listening to sincerely, jane on repeat.
june
- juric canon compliant / 900 words written / they'd get stuck in an elevator and eric would short-circuit because that's like, the start of a romcom. eric knows that for sure, he's seen enough movies to know exactly how this ends!!
- sunhak pwp / 1267 words (finished) / literally just hate sex :')
- milcob hp au / plot bunny, 0 words written / no idea where this idea came from? I tabled this and went for the small town au instead. this one would be really short, just chaotic good!jacob getting into some trouble and hyunjae immediately falling for him because of course...
july
- batbsof sequel jumilcob/jukyu / technically 11,000 words written but a lot of it in 2020 / this is my only real goal for 2022, to finally finish this... just because I really love that universe and the sequel is inspired by the reveal catching fire stage :c the doc was last edited back in july so that's why I'm adding it here.
- bbangnyumil the devil wears prada au / plot bunny, 0 words written / I was watching the devil wears prada again and had an epiphany... this was supposed to be my november project! but then I bailed.
august
- jumil tattoo artist / 1055 words written / this was when that tumblr post about people moaning? while getting a tattoo was going around twitter... NO ONE MOANS HERE but I thought that scenario would be hilarious with these two lol
- bbangmilkev canon compliant pwp / 11585 (finished?) / the ending needs some work but it's technically done. I finished it around november. it's so bad. they're gym buddies! kevin pov! younghoon is more unhinged than usual here!
september
- juric pwp / 4347 words (finished) / this is just too horny for ao3 but it exists. one of the fics born out of me going "so many people write about this... can I do it" and turns out I can't! but always fun trying to write juric.
- sanghak pwp / 2631 words (finished) / SEPTEMBER WAS HORNY MONTH, APPARENTLY. I think I wrote this right after writing sanghak for one of the drabbles? I was like nah 500 words is not enough I need to write a proper sanghak smut.
october
- some sunwoo-centric unhinged pwp / 5050 words written / idek. usually when I'm going through writer's block or am feeling shitty for some reason I write smut... this is 5000 words of that.
november
- bbanghak college au / 3363 words written / this was supposed to be my christmas gift to myself but I bailed lol maybe I can go back to it at some point??? just to amuse myself, if anything.
- seohee alternate universe / 1455 words written / an old gunwoong (keonwoong..) prompt repurposed for seohee because apparently I go here now?
- sunwoo/? canon compliant / 1981 words written / I never settled on a pairing but then again this is so angsty, maybe it's best if I never get far enough for the romance to come into play lol
december
- jumil models au / 3232 words written / I'm finishing this, gdi. it's
iceinmarch's prompt idea so thank you and I'm sorry!- [redacted] secret santa fic / [redacted] words written (finished) / this is only coming out in the new years so technically it will be a 2022 fic but let it be known... this took over most of my december. never knew it'd be so challenging to write [LOUDLY BANGS POTS AND PANS OVER MY OWN VOICE]
SO... 2022, HUH?
the thing about fic is that I really, really like the idea of working around an existing universe/concept. both because I can't exactly come up with my own and need that foundation to be able to do anything in the first place, and because I think it's pretty fun. you're building onto something and that's cool! adding your own flavor to things, exercising your creativity in terms of how far you can bend canon while still have it be recognizable enough to be considered fanfic, sharing your love for something with others (in this case, our love for a band/artist)... I could go on, but my point here is: I have fun with fic. and I like sharing that fun with other people, to the best of my terrible social skills, so I'm not screaming in comments just because I have a cancer mercury, but because the community/feedback aspect of ficwriting is very dear to me.
I've been writing since forever. when I was a kid I used to think I'd write books! I'd be a Writer! something I gave up on pretty early, but I do still like to write. I've been writing fic on and off since 2010, and the years when I didn't - either because I didn't have the time/peace of mind to do so, or because I was drifting from fandom to fandom - were excruciating. no joke, there's something about writing (or doing anything creative, really, but I can't draw and I stopped dancing in high school; writing is all I have) that gives me so much peace. it can be the silliest thing. fairy people arguing about soap! two idiots arguing in the car! pretty people finding other pretty people to make out with! but just doing something creative is so very freeing to me.
all of it to say: the numbers are a reminder that I've been writing, more than anything else. my goal is always to just write things. so that's my goal for 2022 too, to just keep writing. wordcounts are secondary. the important thing is that I like doing this, and these fics (be it my own or the ones I read) are a good and important distraction from, well, [gestures vaguely] the whole life thing, too.
(but also if I could finish that batbsof sequel, that would be awesome. please and thank you, @ future me.)
fandom can be a magical place if we let it be that way. and fanfic can be magic itself. so to everyone who contributed to make my 2021 a little more magical and a little less lonely, thank you! 🧡
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me reading my name in the wip section over the jumil models au: OH MY GOD????
AAAAAAAAAAAAA oh my god i never ever expected it would be something workable!!! i'm so glad it is! waaaaa
also i'm really happy we met and thank you for your wonderful and warm and homely writing and company <3 it means the world to me!!! here's to many more years writing and giggling and fawning over gay women together ♥♥♥
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