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A/N: burned, about to burn, still on fire (sunhak, royal au)
I'm trying to jump-start my brain after the near shutdown because boy, did I worry myself sick last week!!! so instead of going back to the wip I'd been working on before hell broke loose, I thought I'd try to write a commentary post about a fic I've been meaning to revisit for a while now.
and yes, I may or may not have watched "the green knight" recently and yes, the soundtrack alone may or may not have made me think of this universe, so. here we are!
this is a 30k words fic so this post might get long.
some initial thoughts: this fic exists primarily thanks to three things: 1) I was deep in my sunhak headspace, 2) I got inspired by the colors in the reveal mv, and 3) I wanted to write something sarah water-esque.
now, if you don't know sarah waters, she's the author of "fingersmith" (also known by its film adaptation "the handmaiden"), "tipping the velvet", and several other f/f novels. I absolutely adore her writing, and "fingersmith" is one of my favorite books of all time, so in early pandemic days and super new in the fandom I thought "hm, what if I tried to do something vaguely reminiscent of sarah waters just because? sort of fingersmith-like?"
if you *do* know sarah waters, though, you'll know this fic doesn't sound at all like her writing LOL I think all I really took from it was the "historical but make it vague" setting and the plot twists one after the other. that was what I had the most fun with, coming up with the plot itself and playing around with it. the experience of reading "fingersmith" was unparalleled to me, so I wanted to make something reminiscent of that. the absolute joy that I got when jenny read it for the first time and gasped at the plot twists!!! that was all I wanted from that silly experiment.
surprisingly, that same silly fic experiment turned out to be the longest fic (longest thing in general) I've ever written. and one I'm so fond of, even today. I just really like this universe, the romance, the side characters... coming up with everything was really, really fun.
the inspiration from the reveal mv came because the red/blue tones made me think of powers. and not just from the photography itself but from the members' styling LOL eric, younghoon, juyeon were all on the blue/cool tones side; changmin, sunwoo, kevin were on the red/warm tones side, etc. I wanted to do something with it so elemental powers just felt like the right choice.
(maybe two months later the members were asked during a fansign what power/bending ability they would like to have, and I think NONE of them answered anything that matches what I chose for them KFGBKHFFKDJD but you know what? that's fair.)
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some observations:
“It’s French,” the boy said. His voice was peculiar, definitely hoarser than his friendly smile would suggest. “It means ‘without you, today’s emotions would be nothing more than the dead skin of yesterday's emotions.’”
if I had any particular reason for using these quotes here, I don't remember anymore LOL T_T I just liked them? I had a couple bookmarked that I wanted to use at some point, that much I know, and this one has just been on my mind for over a decade now, ever since I first watched "amélie".
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“Nonsense,” said the boy, bringing their dishes to the sink. He seemed to wash them in record time, turning back with the brightest smile on his face. “You kept me company, that’s more than enough.”
me writing this and going heheheh wink wink nudge nudge he's a waterbender! heheh
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His features kept coming back to Sunwoo, the roundness of his cheeks, the jutting of his bottom lip, the odd eyelids.
#funfact: I'm a big fan of hak's odd eyelids.
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“What is it? Did something happen?”
“You know, that’s creepy. This thing you do. It’s like you can read my mind.” Sunwoo paused, giving him a look. “You can’t, right?”
“Not like that,” Hyunjun smirked. “But I’ve known you all my life, Sunwoo. You’re the easiest book to read.”
“You’re the only person who says that.”
“Well, I’m the only one paying attention.”
I really, really, really loved writing the sunhwall friendship here... this dialogue in particular is probably one of my favorites I've ever written. this fic was born sort of like the jukev pirate au - out of literally nowhere. I didn't plan half the things here, I just started writing and making things up as I went LOL so this dialogue informed a lot of what came later: the dinner with changmin, their engagement, why sunwoo felt so trapped and unhappy, etc etc. and of course, the bond between prince and valet, which was also directly inspired by "fingersmith".
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“You’re so easy to mess with.”
“I’m not,” Sunwoo said, which sounded like stubbornness, but was the truth. I don’t know how you do it, was what he meant. He usually would have something to quip back with, but he could only stare at the cake in his hands, dumbfounded. “Can I see you next week?”
one of the top10 best things to write: sunwoo so enamored with someone (usually hak lbr) that he loses all his poise. cute, romantic sunwoo is just too good...
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“How do you know this place?” Sunwoo asked. His voice echoed in the empty space, bouncing back from the stone walls.
“The person who painted that French saying. You know? The one behind the bakery? He knows this town better than anyone,” the boy said, leading him upstairs. The stairs were made of stone, so Sunwoo wasn’t particularly scared about the structure, but more about finding people in there. Or ghosts, but he didn’t voice that out loud. “He told me about… This.”
ERIC... that was eric!! it's never confirmed, just alluded to, but he's the one who knows the town better than anyone else :')
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His skin carried thunder, loud wherever it touched Sunwoo.
[...]
The past didn’t matter anymore, and the future could wait.
to be completely honest, I'm not super satisfied with this first kiss scene... it always felt a bit too rushed, maybe? or something else I can't put my finger on. I don't hate it! I just think it could've been better. but I do like these two lines a lot. the allusions to sunwoo's past, to his fraught relationship with his father, I liked sprinkling that in too. as I always say, I don't always do plot, but when I do I have SO MUCH fun with it.
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He got particularly drunk one night and slurred his way through a convoluted metaphor for his situation, which his dear friend Joonyoung tried his best to follow.
“And you’re the sparrow in this scenario?” Joonyoung asked, confused but kind enough to pretend he understood.
THE SUNCOB FRIENDSHIP... SO DEAR TO ME... the only fic I've ever used joonyoung instead of jacob, I think. not even when he was a fallen god I called him by his korean name?
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Chanhee looked from Sunwoo to Hyunjun, then back to Sunwoo. He seemed to be dreading his next words. “I’m afraid he’s at his kingdom, Your Majesty. You’re looking for Prince Ju Haknyeon.”
when I say I had FUN with this plot, oh my god!!! I still really like the cliffhanger here. I don't think it's super obvious at this point that haknyeon is a prince, but there have been enough clues that he's hiding something too - him not giving out his name, never telling sunwoo anything personal, not recognizing sunwoo (!)... all of it adds up in the end. or, well, I like to think it does khbfhfdkdk making chanhee the other baker just made sense because they've always been the foodies line in my head.
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Haknyeon liked to make Hakyoon laugh. She was a very talented musician as well, so it wasn’t like he was disrupting her practice either. He made the water jump up one more time, laughing when Hakyoon snorted in the middle of a high note, as the door opened suddenly.
I usually try to make siblings have similar names, both because it's easier to associate the person to the main character in a work of fiction where the sibling is technically an OC (at least in my fics) and because I grew up surrounded by people whose siblings had pretty similar names to their own LOL I don't know haknyeon's sisters' real names, but even if I did, I'd rather make up fictional names for them anyway. in "drop-dead gorgeous" I called haknyeon's older sister minseo just to do things #differently (and also because I think minseo is such a pretty name).
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“Oh shit,” Youngjae said, then looked up, apologetically. “I mean. Oh, Sir, that’s bad.
hakric have the same prince/valet bond as sunhwall, but not as... laid back? while sunwoo makes a point of asking hyunjun to treat him as an equal, haknyeon and eric are still prince and valet. they're close, and they were there for each other since forever, but eric still calls haknyeon "sir" and treats him with some semblance of deference. I was just basing it on the hakric dynamic irl where they don't seem that close. but this kind of thing just makes sense in my head for both of them too - hakric are more open to hierarchy, as opposed to sunwoo who eschews it lol
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There was much to do around the land, as his older sister was constantly away on reigning princess business. As always, Haknyeon took care of the farmers’ complaints, dealt with the delivery of food and goods to the three neighboring towns they had a responsibility over, and helped the caretakers of their estate look after their animals.
they're monarchs but they're there to serve the people because this is MY fantasy story, thank you very much. kingdom here just means "vast piece of land under the care of one family whose sole responsibility is to provide for the people living close by." sometimes it's nice to create fictional worlds where people with means/in power actually have basic human decency and a sense of responsibility. also, FARMER HAK!!!
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The dining hall was teeming with people. It was Sunday night, and Sangyeon had just been appointed the Queen’s Royal Knight. Sangyeon, who Haknyeon had known all his life. It wasn’t unexpected; he had been aiming for that position since they were kids, but still. Haknyeon would need some getting used to, calling him anything other than his name.
I love the idea of knight!sangyeon so much. SO much... one of my favorite little details about this universe. I think I had just finished reading the mists of avalon when I wrote this so I was 100% lancelot-ing sangyeon. and it just makes sense, too, that sangyeon would be a literal knight because he's one of hak's two closest friends. I think they'd be closer in age here, though, because I definitely considered them to have been in a semi-relationship at some point.
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Since I so carelessly found your name, without your permission, it is only fair that you find mine now. I hope this is not the end. I hope my name will not be the end of this, of us. But hope is a fleeting, deceitful thing. It tricks us into believing in the impossible.
I wanted to make sure their letters didn't sound exactly the same, so I went the usual route of: sunwoo is dramatiqué, poetic, writes like a reigning prince who has been conditioned to be extra formal in writing but also like a really romantic and idealistic person who wants to get his feelings on paper, beautifully so, like a wannabe poet. haknyeon, on the other hand, is less polished, more concise - he writes as the words come to him, no rhyme or reason, the way he'd speak if it were a spoken conversation, his feelings just splashing on the paper and not letting him arrange them into something poetic.
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They were an interesting pair (or, more accurately, trio) that never failed to make Haknyeon feel like he had stumbled upon a simpler version of things, where happiness was not only tangible but within reach.
[...]
“Chanhee and Younghoon go back a long time. Long story short, Younghoon likes to make people happy, so when he heard I couldn’t really cook at home, he got me in touch with Chanhee, who let me bake for him at the bakery.”
younghoon had to be an airbender because his silver hair is so very important to me. figuring out the bbangnyumoon relationship was great, and I love them so much here. as usual younghoon is the rich one (like he always is in the ao3 user gunwoong cinematic universe) and nyumoon are spoiled rotten by him because of course they are. neither of the other two have titles, but they don't care. I loved writing the bbangmoon dynamic in this scene with haknyeon, which is just the bbangmoon dynamic we know and love with kevin babying younghoon and younghoon more than happy to be babied! plus younghoon just being nice to haknyeon, which is surprisingly more canon compliant now than I thought it was back when I was first wrote this lol
if I were to write a prequel to this, I would 100% choose bbangnyumoon as the core characters. just love and softness all around...
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“Your power is only a weapon if you hold it that way. Otherwise, it can be anything you want.”
“That sounds truer than it is in reality.”
Haknyeon frowned. “You’re wrong,” he said simply, bluntly. “And I’m sorry you feel that way. You shouldn’t. Your power is a gift.”
“Maybe not everyone deserves a gift, then,” Sunwoo replied.
“Maybe,” Haknyeon agreed, and Sunwoo was surprised—he didn’t expect him to. “But until you can prove to me why you don’t, I still think you deserve it. Your gift. And you deserve to be comfortable enough using it. But that’s just my opinion.”
I like this dialogue. I've always written hak as someone who's blunt and straightforward, but he's considerate here, too. and I like what he says about power, that it's only a weapon if you hold it that way. that's sort of one of the underlying motifs of the story, isn't it? power, and what you choose to do with it.
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“I’m pretty sure there’s something going on between the prince and Juyeon.”
“Juyeon?”
“His valet. Tall, nice smile, great arms, looks a little naive?”
“I know who his valet is,” Sunwoo said, trying not to laugh and failing. “They’re together?”
“Either together or having a lot of fun together. Probably both,” Hyunjun said, staring out of the window, wistful. “I don’t know who I’m more jealous of, to be honest.”
the side jukyu was just a nod to jenny because she likes them and was the friend I shared fic ideas and brainstorms with, but it worked out so well, too. first because I wanted to have every tbz member show up one way or another, and also because the supposed-but-not-yet-written sequel is centered on that pairing :-) I liked writing changmin here. he's smart and witty, and just a good friend to sunwoo, really. adding jukyu to the equation was a good idea in the end.
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“Chanhee said you were in trouble. Sir Sangyeon brought me here. They arranged everything,” Sunwoo knew he was doing a terrible job at explaining it, but he was still so relieved to hold Haknyeon, to see him, he couldn’t come up with a better way to put it.
when your friends work together to sneak your boyfriend in to see you >>>>>>>
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“There’s a reason for that. My family has been looking for a reason to send me away for years now. My mother tried to avoid it, which is why I’m still here, but she was always going to give in. Always. I’ve always known that. I’ve always known they were going to have their way.”
“Why?”
“Because I tried to kill them.”
BOOOOM!!! the second cliffhanger JHBDGSDJHGFBIUF I'm sorry, I had too much fun fingersmith-ing this fic... the alternating povs gave me so much room to go ham on the plot twists. incredible. maybe I *should* do plot more often because the fun I had here, my DUDE...
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Youngjae had been expelled from the castle on the day the Queen ordered Haknyeon to be guarded in his room; he had tried to help Haknyeon break free, and had taken a punch to the face for that when they were found sneaking downstairs and he tried to tackle a guard twice his size. Haknyeon hadn’t seen him since, but he had heard from Hakyoon that Youngjae had been kicked out by their mother, who unauthorized him from coming back.
I don't think bbangric were in my bias list yet when I wrote this because I didn't even have a biaslist so reading it now that they're respectively #1 and #2 is so funny. "have you heard? bbangric are REALLY KIND and REALLY LOYAL," she said, for no reason at all.
and re: haknyeon's backstory... I felt a little torn writing him losing his father in the story because it felt a little too close to real life, but I wanted to have that parallel: both sunwoo and haknyeon lost their fathers, but the loss affected them in entirely different ways. sunwoo's father was awful, haknyeon's father was kind. sunwoo's mother is strict but loving, haknyeon's mother is cold and harsh. their stories are similar but in many ways, total opposites, too.
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“Is that a threat?”
“Only if you take it as one, Your Majesty.”
this scene... oh, sunwoo, you brave little fool. I like this scene a lot. no reason, I just find the idea of fighting for someone you love like that very romantic, if a little impulsive.
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“And if they kill me before I get there?”
His mother gave him an angry look. “They’re family, Haknyeon. They wouldn’t. Don’t be absurd.”
growing up and realizing your parents don't actually know everything is always an experience, but this makes it harder. she's choosing her family over her son, which is so heartbreaking. it's a recurring theme in my plot-heavy fics, the I Have A Shitty Family dilemma, trying to navigate that strange in-between where you want to love them but they make it impossible by being awful people. because families can be shitty! a blood bond doesn't actually mean anything if it brings you more pain than anything. haknyeon learns it the hard way in this story.
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“I just need you to promise you won’t get yourself killed,” Hyunjun said. “Can you promise me that?”
Sunwoo hesitated. “Did you see something?”
Hyunjun didn’t answer. Which was frustrating, but to expected. Only a fourth magus, Hyunjun didn’t have that many gifts as his late grandmother, but he had some that would sometimes tell him things.
I wanted to add more magic to the world than just the elemental powers, and magic in the purest sense just made sense. I never expanded on the concept of magi and I honestly sometimes forget I added it here LOL but I like the idea of hyunjun having that kind of power too. a full magus falls somewhere between a seer and a healer; hyunjun, as a descendant, just gets a bit of the vision.
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“Sunwoo,” Hyunjun grabbed his hand, made him stop and look at him. His face showed fear. It was weird to see that on Hyunjun, the most fearless person Sunwoo knew. “Sunwoo, please. Don’t do anything you’ll regret later.”
“I’ll regret it if I don’t do anything. If I let them take him away. They can’t do that.”
“No, they can’t.” Hyunjun stared at him for a second before pressing a soft kiss to his cheek. “Be brave.”
again: I loved writing the sunhwall here. the way I imagined it, they were a thing at some point. they've learned things together, experienced things together, and their bond grew beyond that of a friendship. it's not romantic love, but it hasn't always been entirely platonic, either. it's a gray area, neither here nor there. and to an extent, haknyeon mirrors that too with sangyeon and eric. sunhak really do have a lot in common, including the strong, unbreakable bond with the people who were by their side growing up.
and hyunjun has definitely gotten a glimpse of what's about to happen, which is why he's telling sunwoo not to do anything he'll regret...
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He tried to remember what it felt like to speak with the fire coursing through his veins. He remembered simpler times, when he’d follow Hyunjun’s lead and watch the flames dance on his palm. When fire felt friendly, warm. He remembered laughter, and light, and beauty. It was so much easier back then. It came so naturally to him, even before he had learned not to burn his clothes, or his eyebrows. Once upon a time, this meant happiness.
was I dustfinger-ing sunwoo a little bit here? mayhaps. I've always loved dustfinger (of inkworld fame, from cornelia funke's "inkheart") as a character, and the way he could make fire speak and dance for him. maybe that's where my appreciation for fire powers came from!! if I could choose a power for myself, it'd definitely be that one.
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He lifted a hand and threw a fireball towards the ship. It exploded against the wood, splinters flying everywhere, making the people closest to it scream and cower in fear.
LMAO I was definitely inspired by an episode of critrole with this. the whole throwing fireballs at ships thing is definitely an image I took from that.
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“We’re not our pasts,” Haknyeon said. He kissed Sunwoo. One, two, three times. “We’re not. Please. Please, stop.”
you know those viral tweets and tumblr posts about writing an entire story around one scene? this was it for me KHGKFFKJFDKJ I wrote the entire fic with this particular scene in mind. one, because I fucking love the "I'll burn the entire world to the ground to protect you" trope, and two, because I fucking love the "person loses control of their powers and only their loved one can bring them back to their senses" trope. AND FIRE!!!!!
there was no one better to stop sunwoo here than haknyeon, who knows what it feels like to regret losing control. he knows what that guilt feels like. everything brought them here, to this moment... oh, I love these two.
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Sunwoo looked down, noticing the little holes burned through his shirt.
me as the author going like IN CASE IT WASN'T CLEAR THIS IS REVEAL MV SUNWOO!
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She nodded, giving Haknyeon one last kiss on the cheek before leaving, escorted out by Sir Sangyeon and holding Hakyoon’s hand.
in my head, sangyeon marries hakseo further down the line. because yes!!!
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“Then there’s your answer,” Haknyeon said with a smile. He nudged Sunwoo’s foot with a toe. “You have so much love in you, Sunwoo. You couldn’t be more different from him if you tried.”
“I still have it in me to kill, apparently.”
“So do I,” Haknyeon shot back. “I think a lot of us would kill if it came down to it. But you didn’t. You chose not to. That matters a whole lot.”
my god, I love haknyeon here. I usually think of this fic as a little ooc, or at least the more ooc haknyeon I've ever written, but you know what? he says all the right things. he's smart as fuck and he tells it like it is. I adore this character, oocness aside.
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"Where’s Youngjae?”
“In town, as usual. [...]"
oh, hwallric were definitely going to be a thing later in the future. I pictured them together in town when I wrote these lines LOL this + the lines where haknyeon mentions sunwoo and hyunjun's bond were my way of going "I'm not saying ot4 maknaeline get together at some point, but I'm not saying they don't, either." the possibilities are endless and there's more than enough love to go around there...
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The sky was clear, and their laughter echoed in the air, Younghoon’s louder than anyone else’s.
FKHBGFKHFDK HAVE I ALWAYS BEEN THIS FOND OF HIS LAUGH
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Joonyoung gasped. “Why me?” He asked, his voice breaking comically at the last word. “Oh, you’re on, buddy,” he said, standing up to chase a giggling Chanhee.
“Should I be worried?” Jaehyun—Joonyoung’s plus-one whom most of them were meeting for the first time that day—asked, delighted. He stretched his legs and took a sip of his wine. “Are they gonna kill each other?”
I was and still am SO fond of jacob's voice breaking at random. and the two lines of milcob!!! in this house we milcob as much as we can, apparently. they're much more present and central to the sequel fic, too.
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some final thoughts: I'm really happy with this fic, and dare I say... proud? that is such a foreign feeling, but I really do feel happy when I think about this universe. is it the best thing I've ever written? most probably not, and I know it's not even close to perfect, but I like these characters. I like the star-crossed lovers vibe here, the high stakes, the magical elements. I like how everyone is here one way or another, and how things work out in the end.
is it simultaneously really angsty and super hopeful? yeah, probably. their backstories are SO dramatic but everything works out so well in the end. the sequel would/will be way angstier than this, and way more tragic, too, but it was good to go back to this one first to remind myself of that aspect of the story. there's always hope in this universe! people are good! or, well, the people we met here are good.
I'll be honest: I miss writing sunhak... this kind of story works (worked?) for them, more than any other ship, in my personal and very sunhak-goggles-glued-to-my-face opinion. the potential for romantic drama and ride-or-dieness with them is (was?) through the roof. it just works!! the fantasy drama mixed with angsty romance works for them!!! I just think th[I AM FORCIBLY REMOVED FROM THE PREMISES]
in any case, this is one of the fics I'm most fond of. it's a (lame, but it's the thought that counts) hommage to sarah waters, it's the longest thing I've ever written purely because I just couldn't stop writing it, and it's just something I had fun brainstorming, from beginning to end. I remember I had a minor setback at some point, trying to figure out some plot points, but it didn't last long. I think I wrote this in maybe two weeks, tops. which is crazy because WHERE did all of this even come from?!
batbsof, you will always be my favorite child... I love you!!!
and yes, I may or may not have watched "the green knight" recently and yes, the soundtrack alone may or may not have made me think of this universe, so. here we are!
this is a 30k words fic so this post might get long.
some initial thoughts: this fic exists primarily thanks to three things: 1) I was deep in my sunhak headspace, 2) I got inspired by the colors in the reveal mv, and 3) I wanted to write something sarah water-esque.
now, if you don't know sarah waters, she's the author of "fingersmith" (also known by its film adaptation "the handmaiden"), "tipping the velvet", and several other f/f novels. I absolutely adore her writing, and "fingersmith" is one of my favorite books of all time, so in early pandemic days and super new in the fandom I thought "hm, what if I tried to do something vaguely reminiscent of sarah waters just because? sort of fingersmith-like?"
if you *do* know sarah waters, though, you'll know this fic doesn't sound at all like her writing LOL I think all I really took from it was the "historical but make it vague" setting and the plot twists one after the other. that was what I had the most fun with, coming up with the plot itself and playing around with it. the experience of reading "fingersmith" was unparalleled to me, so I wanted to make something reminiscent of that. the absolute joy that I got when jenny read it for the first time and gasped at the plot twists!!! that was all I wanted from that silly experiment.
surprisingly, that same silly fic experiment turned out to be the longest fic (longest thing in general) I've ever written. and one I'm so fond of, even today. I just really like this universe, the romance, the side characters... coming up with everything was really, really fun.
the inspiration from the reveal mv came because the red/blue tones made me think of powers. and not just from the photography itself but from the members' styling LOL eric, younghoon, juyeon were all on the blue/cool tones side; changmin, sunwoo, kevin were on the red/warm tones side, etc. I wanted to do something with it so elemental powers just felt like the right choice.
(maybe two months later the members were asked during a fansign what power/bending ability they would like to have, and I think NONE of them answered anything that matches what I chose for them KFGBKHFFKDJD but you know what? that's fair.)
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some observations:
“It’s French,” the boy said. His voice was peculiar, definitely hoarser than his friendly smile would suggest. “It means ‘without you, today’s emotions would be nothing more than the dead skin of yesterday's emotions.’”
if I had any particular reason for using these quotes here, I don't remember anymore LOL T_T I just liked them? I had a couple bookmarked that I wanted to use at some point, that much I know, and this one has just been on my mind for over a decade now, ever since I first watched "amélie".
“Nonsense,” said the boy, bringing their dishes to the sink. He seemed to wash them in record time, turning back with the brightest smile on his face. “You kept me company, that’s more than enough.”
me writing this and going heheheh wink wink nudge nudge he's a waterbender! heheh
His features kept coming back to Sunwoo, the roundness of his cheeks, the jutting of his bottom lip, the odd eyelids.
#funfact: I'm a big fan of hak's odd eyelids.
“What is it? Did something happen?”
“You know, that’s creepy. This thing you do. It’s like you can read my mind.” Sunwoo paused, giving him a look. “You can’t, right?”
“Not like that,” Hyunjun smirked. “But I’ve known you all my life, Sunwoo. You’re the easiest book to read.”
“You’re the only person who says that.”
“Well, I’m the only one paying attention.”
I really, really, really loved writing the sunhwall friendship here... this dialogue in particular is probably one of my favorites I've ever written. this fic was born sort of like the jukev pirate au - out of literally nowhere. I didn't plan half the things here, I just started writing and making things up as I went LOL so this dialogue informed a lot of what came later: the dinner with changmin, their engagement, why sunwoo felt so trapped and unhappy, etc etc. and of course, the bond between prince and valet, which was also directly inspired by "fingersmith".
“You’re so easy to mess with.”
“I’m not,” Sunwoo said, which sounded like stubbornness, but was the truth. I don’t know how you do it, was what he meant. He usually would have something to quip back with, but he could only stare at the cake in his hands, dumbfounded. “Can I see you next week?”
one of the top10 best things to write: sunwoo so enamored with someone (usually hak lbr) that he loses all his poise. cute, romantic sunwoo is just too good...
“How do you know this place?” Sunwoo asked. His voice echoed in the empty space, bouncing back from the stone walls.
“The person who painted that French saying. You know? The one behind the bakery? He knows this town better than anyone,” the boy said, leading him upstairs. The stairs were made of stone, so Sunwoo wasn’t particularly scared about the structure, but more about finding people in there. Or ghosts, but he didn’t voice that out loud. “He told me about… This.”
ERIC... that was eric!! it's never confirmed, just alluded to, but he's the one who knows the town better than anyone else :')
His skin carried thunder, loud wherever it touched Sunwoo.
[...]
The past didn’t matter anymore, and the future could wait.
to be completely honest, I'm not super satisfied with this first kiss scene... it always felt a bit too rushed, maybe? or something else I can't put my finger on. I don't hate it! I just think it could've been better. but I do like these two lines a lot. the allusions to sunwoo's past, to his fraught relationship with his father, I liked sprinkling that in too. as I always say, I don't always do plot, but when I do I have SO MUCH fun with it.
He got particularly drunk one night and slurred his way through a convoluted metaphor for his situation, which his dear friend Joonyoung tried his best to follow.
“And you’re the sparrow in this scenario?” Joonyoung asked, confused but kind enough to pretend he understood.
THE SUNCOB FRIENDSHIP... SO DEAR TO ME... the only fic I've ever used joonyoung instead of jacob, I think. not even when he was a fallen god I called him by his korean name?
Chanhee looked from Sunwoo to Hyunjun, then back to Sunwoo. He seemed to be dreading his next words. “I’m afraid he’s at his kingdom, Your Majesty. You’re looking for Prince Ju Haknyeon.”
when I say I had FUN with this plot, oh my god!!! I still really like the cliffhanger here. I don't think it's super obvious at this point that haknyeon is a prince, but there have been enough clues that he's hiding something too - him not giving out his name, never telling sunwoo anything personal, not recognizing sunwoo (!)... all of it adds up in the end. or, well, I like to think it does khbfhfdkdk making chanhee the other baker just made sense because they've always been the foodies line in my head.
Haknyeon liked to make Hakyoon laugh. She was a very talented musician as well, so it wasn’t like he was disrupting her practice either. He made the water jump up one more time, laughing when Hakyoon snorted in the middle of a high note, as the door opened suddenly.
I usually try to make siblings have similar names, both because it's easier to associate the person to the main character in a work of fiction where the sibling is technically an OC (at least in my fics) and because I grew up surrounded by people whose siblings had pretty similar names to their own LOL I don't know haknyeon's sisters' real names, but even if I did, I'd rather make up fictional names for them anyway. in "drop-dead gorgeous" I called haknyeon's older sister minseo just to do things #differently (and also because I think minseo is such a pretty name).
“Oh shit,” Youngjae said, then looked up, apologetically. “I mean. Oh, Sir, that’s bad.
hakric have the same prince/valet bond as sunhwall, but not as... laid back? while sunwoo makes a point of asking hyunjun to treat him as an equal, haknyeon and eric are still prince and valet. they're close, and they were there for each other since forever, but eric still calls haknyeon "sir" and treats him with some semblance of deference. I was just basing it on the hakric dynamic irl where they don't seem that close. but this kind of thing just makes sense in my head for both of them too - hakric are more open to hierarchy, as opposed to sunwoo who eschews it lol
There was much to do around the land, as his older sister was constantly away on reigning princess business. As always, Haknyeon took care of the farmers’ complaints, dealt with the delivery of food and goods to the three neighboring towns they had a responsibility over, and helped the caretakers of their estate look after their animals.
they're monarchs but they're there to serve the people because this is MY fantasy story, thank you very much. kingdom here just means "vast piece of land under the care of one family whose sole responsibility is to provide for the people living close by." sometimes it's nice to create fictional worlds where people with means/in power actually have basic human decency and a sense of responsibility. also, FARMER HAK!!!
The dining hall was teeming with people. It was Sunday night, and Sangyeon had just been appointed the Queen’s Royal Knight. Sangyeon, who Haknyeon had known all his life. It wasn’t unexpected; he had been aiming for that position since they were kids, but still. Haknyeon would need some getting used to, calling him anything other than his name.
I love the idea of knight!sangyeon so much. SO much... one of my favorite little details about this universe. I think I had just finished reading the mists of avalon when I wrote this so I was 100% lancelot-ing sangyeon. and it just makes sense, too, that sangyeon would be a literal knight because he's one of hak's two closest friends. I think they'd be closer in age here, though, because I definitely considered them to have been in a semi-relationship at some point.
Since I so carelessly found your name, without your permission, it is only fair that you find mine now. I hope this is not the end. I hope my name will not be the end of this, of us. But hope is a fleeting, deceitful thing. It tricks us into believing in the impossible.
I wanted to make sure their letters didn't sound exactly the same, so I went the usual route of: sunwoo is dramatiqué, poetic, writes like a reigning prince who has been conditioned to be extra formal in writing but also like a really romantic and idealistic person who wants to get his feelings on paper, beautifully so, like a wannabe poet. haknyeon, on the other hand, is less polished, more concise - he writes as the words come to him, no rhyme or reason, the way he'd speak if it were a spoken conversation, his feelings just splashing on the paper and not letting him arrange them into something poetic.
They were an interesting pair (or, more accurately, trio) that never failed to make Haknyeon feel like he had stumbled upon a simpler version of things, where happiness was not only tangible but within reach.
[...]
“Chanhee and Younghoon go back a long time. Long story short, Younghoon likes to make people happy, so when he heard I couldn’t really cook at home, he got me in touch with Chanhee, who let me bake for him at the bakery.”
younghoon had to be an airbender because his silver hair is so very important to me. figuring out the bbangnyumoon relationship was great, and I love them so much here. as usual younghoon is the rich one (like he always is in the ao3 user gunwoong cinematic universe) and nyumoon are spoiled rotten by him because of course they are. neither of the other two have titles, but they don't care. I loved writing the bbangmoon dynamic in this scene with haknyeon, which is just the bbangmoon dynamic we know and love with kevin babying younghoon and younghoon more than happy to be babied! plus younghoon just being nice to haknyeon, which is surprisingly more canon compliant now than I thought it was back when I was first wrote this lol
if I were to write a prequel to this, I would 100% choose bbangnyumoon as the core characters. just love and softness all around...
“Your power is only a weapon if you hold it that way. Otherwise, it can be anything you want.”
“That sounds truer than it is in reality.”
Haknyeon frowned. “You’re wrong,” he said simply, bluntly. “And I’m sorry you feel that way. You shouldn’t. Your power is a gift.”
“Maybe not everyone deserves a gift, then,” Sunwoo replied.
“Maybe,” Haknyeon agreed, and Sunwoo was surprised—he didn’t expect him to. “But until you can prove to me why you don’t, I still think you deserve it. Your gift. And you deserve to be comfortable enough using it. But that’s just my opinion.”
I like this dialogue. I've always written hak as someone who's blunt and straightforward, but he's considerate here, too. and I like what he says about power, that it's only a weapon if you hold it that way. that's sort of one of the underlying motifs of the story, isn't it? power, and what you choose to do with it.
“I’m pretty sure there’s something going on between the prince and Juyeon.”
“Juyeon?”
“His valet. Tall, nice smile, great arms, looks a little naive?”
“I know who his valet is,” Sunwoo said, trying not to laugh and failing. “They’re together?”
“Either together or having a lot of fun together. Probably both,” Hyunjun said, staring out of the window, wistful. “I don’t know who I’m more jealous of, to be honest.”
the side jukyu was just a nod to jenny because she likes them and was the friend I shared fic ideas and brainstorms with, but it worked out so well, too. first because I wanted to have every tbz member show up one way or another, and also because the supposed-but-not-yet-written sequel is centered on that pairing :-) I liked writing changmin here. he's smart and witty, and just a good friend to sunwoo, really. adding jukyu to the equation was a good idea in the end.
“Chanhee said you were in trouble. Sir Sangyeon brought me here. They arranged everything,” Sunwoo knew he was doing a terrible job at explaining it, but he was still so relieved to hold Haknyeon, to see him, he couldn’t come up with a better way to put it.
when your friends work together to sneak your boyfriend in to see you >>>>>>>
“There’s a reason for that. My family has been looking for a reason to send me away for years now. My mother tried to avoid it, which is why I’m still here, but she was always going to give in. Always. I’ve always known that. I’ve always known they were going to have their way.”
“Why?”
“Because I tried to kill them.”
BOOOOM!!! the second cliffhanger JHBDGSDJHGFBIUF I'm sorry, I had too much fun fingersmith-ing this fic... the alternating povs gave me so much room to go ham on the plot twists. incredible. maybe I *should* do plot more often because the fun I had here, my DUDE...
Youngjae had been expelled from the castle on the day the Queen ordered Haknyeon to be guarded in his room; he had tried to help Haknyeon break free, and had taken a punch to the face for that when they were found sneaking downstairs and he tried to tackle a guard twice his size. Haknyeon hadn’t seen him since, but he had heard from Hakyoon that Youngjae had been kicked out by their mother, who unauthorized him from coming back.
I don't think bbangric were in my bias list yet when I wrote this because I didn't even have a biaslist so reading it now that they're respectively #1 and #2 is so funny. "have you heard? bbangric are REALLY KIND and REALLY LOYAL," she said, for no reason at all.
and re: haknyeon's backstory... I felt a little torn writing him losing his father in the story because it felt a little too close to real life, but I wanted to have that parallel: both sunwoo and haknyeon lost their fathers, but the loss affected them in entirely different ways. sunwoo's father was awful, haknyeon's father was kind. sunwoo's mother is strict but loving, haknyeon's mother is cold and harsh. their stories are similar but in many ways, total opposites, too.
“Is that a threat?”
“Only if you take it as one, Your Majesty.”
this scene... oh, sunwoo, you brave little fool. I like this scene a lot. no reason, I just find the idea of fighting for someone you love like that very romantic, if a little impulsive.
“And if they kill me before I get there?”
His mother gave him an angry look. “They’re family, Haknyeon. They wouldn’t. Don’t be absurd.”
growing up and realizing your parents don't actually know everything is always an experience, but this makes it harder. she's choosing her family over her son, which is so heartbreaking. it's a recurring theme in my plot-heavy fics, the I Have A Shitty Family dilemma, trying to navigate that strange in-between where you want to love them but they make it impossible by being awful people. because families can be shitty! a blood bond doesn't actually mean anything if it brings you more pain than anything. haknyeon learns it the hard way in this story.
“I just need you to promise you won’t get yourself killed,” Hyunjun said. “Can you promise me that?”
Sunwoo hesitated. “Did you see something?”
Hyunjun didn’t answer. Which was frustrating, but to expected. Only a fourth magus, Hyunjun didn’t have that many gifts as his late grandmother, but he had some that would sometimes tell him things.
I wanted to add more magic to the world than just the elemental powers, and magic in the purest sense just made sense. I never expanded on the concept of magi and I honestly sometimes forget I added it here LOL but I like the idea of hyunjun having that kind of power too. a full magus falls somewhere between a seer and a healer; hyunjun, as a descendant, just gets a bit of the vision.
“Sunwoo,” Hyunjun grabbed his hand, made him stop and look at him. His face showed fear. It was weird to see that on Hyunjun, the most fearless person Sunwoo knew. “Sunwoo, please. Don’t do anything you’ll regret later.”
“I’ll regret it if I don’t do anything. If I let them take him away. They can’t do that.”
“No, they can’t.” Hyunjun stared at him for a second before pressing a soft kiss to his cheek. “Be brave.”
again: I loved writing the sunhwall here. the way I imagined it, they were a thing at some point. they've learned things together, experienced things together, and their bond grew beyond that of a friendship. it's not romantic love, but it hasn't always been entirely platonic, either. it's a gray area, neither here nor there. and to an extent, haknyeon mirrors that too with sangyeon and eric. sunhak really do have a lot in common, including the strong, unbreakable bond with the people who were by their side growing up.
and hyunjun has definitely gotten a glimpse of what's about to happen, which is why he's telling sunwoo not to do anything he'll regret...
He tried to remember what it felt like to speak with the fire coursing through his veins. He remembered simpler times, when he’d follow Hyunjun’s lead and watch the flames dance on his palm. When fire felt friendly, warm. He remembered laughter, and light, and beauty. It was so much easier back then. It came so naturally to him, even before he had learned not to burn his clothes, or his eyebrows. Once upon a time, this meant happiness.
was I dustfinger-ing sunwoo a little bit here? mayhaps. I've always loved dustfinger (of inkworld fame, from cornelia funke's "inkheart") as a character, and the way he could make fire speak and dance for him. maybe that's where my appreciation for fire powers came from!! if I could choose a power for myself, it'd definitely be that one.
He lifted a hand and threw a fireball towards the ship. It exploded against the wood, splinters flying everywhere, making the people closest to it scream and cower in fear.
LMAO I was definitely inspired by an episode of critrole with this. the whole throwing fireballs at ships thing is definitely an image I took from that.
“We’re not our pasts,” Haknyeon said. He kissed Sunwoo. One, two, three times. “We’re not. Please. Please, stop.”
you know those viral tweets and tumblr posts about writing an entire story around one scene? this was it for me KHGKFFKJFDKJ I wrote the entire fic with this particular scene in mind. one, because I fucking love the "I'll burn the entire world to the ground to protect you" trope, and two, because I fucking love the "person loses control of their powers and only their loved one can bring them back to their senses" trope. AND FIRE!!!!!
there was no one better to stop sunwoo here than haknyeon, who knows what it feels like to regret losing control. he knows what that guilt feels like. everything brought them here, to this moment... oh, I love these two.
Sunwoo looked down, noticing the little holes burned through his shirt.
me as the author going like IN CASE IT WASN'T CLEAR THIS IS REVEAL MV SUNWOO!
She nodded, giving Haknyeon one last kiss on the cheek before leaving, escorted out by Sir Sangyeon and holding Hakyoon’s hand.
in my head, sangyeon marries hakseo further down the line. because yes!!!
“Then there’s your answer,” Haknyeon said with a smile. He nudged Sunwoo’s foot with a toe. “You have so much love in you, Sunwoo. You couldn’t be more different from him if you tried.”
“I still have it in me to kill, apparently.”
“So do I,” Haknyeon shot back. “I think a lot of us would kill if it came down to it. But you didn’t. You chose not to. That matters a whole lot.”
my god, I love haknyeon here. I usually think of this fic as a little ooc, or at least the more ooc haknyeon I've ever written, but you know what? he says all the right things. he's smart as fuck and he tells it like it is. I adore this character, oocness aside.
"Where’s Youngjae?”
“In town, as usual. [...]"
oh, hwallric were definitely going to be a thing later in the future. I pictured them together in town when I wrote these lines LOL this + the lines where haknyeon mentions sunwoo and hyunjun's bond were my way of going "I'm not saying ot4 maknaeline get together at some point, but I'm not saying they don't, either." the possibilities are endless and there's more than enough love to go around there...
The sky was clear, and their laughter echoed in the air, Younghoon’s louder than anyone else’s.
FKHBGFKHFDK HAVE I ALWAYS BEEN THIS FOND OF HIS LAUGH
Joonyoung gasped. “Why me?” He asked, his voice breaking comically at the last word. “Oh, you’re on, buddy,” he said, standing up to chase a giggling Chanhee.
“Should I be worried?” Jaehyun—Joonyoung’s plus-one whom most of them were meeting for the first time that day—asked, delighted. He stretched his legs and took a sip of his wine. “Are they gonna kill each other?”
I was and still am SO fond of jacob's voice breaking at random. and the two lines of milcob!!! in this house we milcob as much as we can, apparently. they're much more present and central to the sequel fic, too.
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some final thoughts: I'm really happy with this fic, and dare I say... proud? that is such a foreign feeling, but I really do feel happy when I think about this universe. is it the best thing I've ever written? most probably not, and I know it's not even close to perfect, but I like these characters. I like the star-crossed lovers vibe here, the high stakes, the magical elements. I like how everyone is here one way or another, and how things work out in the end.
is it simultaneously really angsty and super hopeful? yeah, probably. their backstories are SO dramatic but everything works out so well in the end. the sequel would/will be way angstier than this, and way more tragic, too, but it was good to go back to this one first to remind myself of that aspect of the story. there's always hope in this universe! people are good! or, well, the people we met here are good.
I'll be honest: I miss writing sunhak... this kind of story works (worked?) for them, more than any other ship, in my personal and very sunhak-goggles-glued-to-my-face opinion. the potential for romantic drama and ride-or-dieness with them is (was?) through the roof. it just works!! the fantasy drama mixed with angsty romance works for them!!! I just think th[I AM FORCIBLY REMOVED FROM THE PREMISES]
in any case, this is one of the fics I'm most fond of. it's a (lame, but it's the thought that counts) hommage to sarah waters, it's the longest thing I've ever written purely because I just couldn't stop writing it, and it's just something I had fun brainstorming, from beginning to end. I remember I had a minor setback at some point, trying to figure out some plot points, but it didn't last long. I think I wrote this in maybe two weeks, tops. which is crazy because WHERE did all of this even come from?!
batbsof, you will always be my favorite child... I love you!!!
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> maybe I *should* do plot more often because the fun I had here
WELCOME TO MY WORLD!!!!! i'm always here to bounce things off with also
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PLOT IS TOO MUCH FUN... and you're the sweetest! <3
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so this lil commentary piece is very much appreciated <3 you actually went over some of my favorite lines in here and ahhh. i'll be rereading your fic. i'm in the mood now, 100%.
also?! you saying this was inspired by fingersmith? i literally went :O REREADING THIS ASAP! thank you again for this hehe <3
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knowing you liked this back then and still want to reread it today makes me so :')) so thank *you*, seriously <3 for reading this gigantic commentary post too! KFGFDKHFDKJK
and YEAH fingersmith!! 😍 you've read it too?! that was THE book in terms of plot twists to me, so combining that with the reveal mv and with sunhak was one of the most ME things I've ever done, probably LOL DFGKFDHFDHJKD