fic: charm (sangric, witches au) [drabble september]

[moriendum]

fandom: tbz
pairing: sangric
rating: G
wordcount: 2.1k
tags: idiots to lovers, magic au, humor
a/n: this is most certainly NOT a drabble but you know what. challenge accepted. I WILL get to the end of the month writing a 100-word drabble gdi!!!

“The question here is, did you or did you not charm your soaps without the knowledge of your buyers?”

Sangyeon swallowed dry. He had to make an effort not to look up and stomp his feet like an insolent child, because that would most definitely not help his case. But this was getting him nowhere. He knew, without a shadow of a doubt, that he was about to lose this battle.

He didn’t have to know the presiding council member to read the contempt on their face. That was an older witch, the oldest one in the room by far, even if the thin, silvery hair was cut short and they were wearing a hawaiian shirt that made them look more like your average human bingo goer than a powerful ancient being. They looked like they’d rather be anywhere but here. 

Same, Sangyeon thought.

“I did,” he started, turning to send a tired look in Chanhee’s direction. The witch had his arms crossed, one eyebrow carefully poised in challenge. He knew he was winning. “But I’m not the only shop that does that—“

Chanhee didn’t let him finish, addressing the council member. “Well, I don’t. And I’d never use the fact that everyone else breaks the rules to justify my wrong ways, just so we’re clear here.” 

“You make me sound like a criminal!”

“Might as well be one!”

Just as Sangyeon was about to retort that that was absurd, the doors to the study opened abruptly. Both Sangyeon and Chanhee jumped in surprise and turned around in time to see the tornado that was Eric Sohn, Sangyeon’s witch apprentice that had most definitely been told he did not need to come.

“Oh, no,” Sangyeon mumbled to himself.

The witch approached the desk. “Your Honor, I apologize for my tardiness,” he addressed the council member, holding his head high like that could somehow make up for the fact that he was wearing a suit jacket that looked way too big on him and a backwards snapback. As if just remembering that fact, he took off his hat and tried to tame his hair back down. “I’m here on behalf of Lee Sangyeon.”

Eric very unnecessarily indicated Sangyeon with both arms. Like the other four people in the room didn’t already know that. Sangyeon caught the council witness trying to suppress a smile from his corner. 

“You do realize this is not a human court, right?” The council member asked, unimpressed. “I’m not ‘Your Honor’.”

“Of course, Your—Of course.” 

Eric took two steps back so he could post himself next to Sangyeon, grinning at him. Sangyeon could only answer with a look he hoped conveyed the what the fuck? ringing loud and clear in his head. 

“As a matter of fact, I still don't know what I’m doing here. What any of us is doing here,” the elder witch said. They brushed a wrinkled hand over their face. “What is it again, young man?”

Chanhee cleared his throat. “Soap, zephyr.”

“Right. Well?” 

“Sangyeon has been charming the products he sells on his online shop. His soaps,” Chanhee explained, clearly and patiently. “I’ve lost more than half of my clients to him because of that.”

“Objection!” Eric shouted, making all of them jump in place one more time.

“Son, once again, you don’t need to do all that,” the council member said.

“Well, Your H—Our most esteemed zephyr, you’ll see I do,” Eric said. He paused only long enough to wink at Sangyeon, then he was back to… doing that. Whatever the hell that was. “Because what Chanhee is saying is not true.”

“Oh, it’s not?” Chanhee put his hands on his waist, turning to Eric. “Please do enlighten me.”

Eric raised one finger in the universal gesture for just a sec. For all his misgivings about this, Sangyeon had to admit he was curious. He watched Eric pull his wand from one pocket, then hold it between his teeth before pulling his phone from another pocket. When he had found what he was looking for—while all four pairs of eyes in the room watched him—, he grabbed his wand again and cast the usual Projection spell so everyone in the room could see the screen of his phone and the video he was about to play.

As soon as it started, Sangyeon knew what it was. The video had gone viral a couple months ago, both within the witch circles and the non-magical ones. A disgruntled client who just so happened to have a small dedicated fanbase on YouTube had made a review video completely trashing Chanhee’s shop for an order that had arrived to her quite literally dead. The screenshots of the decomposing moss covering all of the soaps, bath salts, and body wash she had ordered were familiar to Sangyeon, who had seen it all over his feed for weeks.

At the time, he had felt bad for Chanhee, because he knew the witch was good at his job, even if he didn’t know what had gone wrong with that particular order. 

“This is unfair,” Chanhee argued now, over the sound of the video. “That,” he pointed at the magical projection, “should never have happened. I apologized to that client and reimbursed her, that has nothing to do with what we’re talking about here.”

“It has absolutely everything to do with it,” Eric said, so dramatically intense in his delivery that if Sangyeon didn’t know him better, he could’ve almost fallen for the act. “You were just saying my client is responsible for your losses.”

“He’s not your client,” Chanhee deadpanned.

“I’m not your client,” Sangyeon agreed.

“Deflecting now, are we?” Eric said. He turned to the council member with his arms spread wide, a move so abrupt that the witch blinked twice. “I think we can all agree that a client showing the world that your products are moldy and stinky is pretty damning, and a fair reason to lose a portion of your clientele.”

Chanhee guffawed. “Moldy and stinky?” 

But the council member raised a hand to stop him there and asked, “Is this true? Did you sell these products?”

“No! I mean, yes,” Chanhee corrected himself. It was the first time he had been thrown off his game ever since they had stepped into that room, a crack in his otherwise overly confident demeanor. “But I didn’t mean to. It was all a huge misunderstanding. My friend, who’s a warlock—“

“Let the records show he’s talking about Ji Changmin!” Eric interrupted to say. Sangyeon had to bite the inside of his cheek to stop himself from laughing.

“No one here is keeping record,” Chanhee retorted, which was true. 

The council member looked like they were counting to ten in their head. Sangyeon wouldn’t be surprised if they were considering murder at this point.

“Anyway, my friend—Changmin,” Chanhee added, with an exasperated look to Eric, “was over at my place. He cursed some of my things as a joke, because he’s always pulling pranks like that, but he unknowingly hit some of the products for my shop, too. It wasn’t his intention. It certainly wasn’t mine to sell cursed things to anyone!”

“But that did affect your sales,” Eric pushed.

Chanhee pressed his lips together for a moment, then nodded. It was clear he knew the answer wouldn’t favor him. “Yes.” 

“Cool.” Eric waved his wand to dismiss the projection. He stood next to Sangyeon again, satisfied with himself. As insufferable as that grin could be when it came after one too many of Eric’s… Ericnesses, Sangyeon had to admit that was a good look on him. The colorful highlights on his platinum blond hair, magically attuned to his mood, added to the overall effect of a very happy—and, sure, very cute—Eric.

“That doesn’t change the fact that he’s using magic on unsuspecting non-magical humans,” Chanhee said. Never one to back down, one of Chanhee’s most admirable qualities, in Sangyeon’s opinion, even though that only meant a pain in his ass right now. “And that should be taken into account.”

“Should it, though?” Eric asked. He scratched his chin in thought. “Your Honor—“

“For all the boiling cauldrons in the world, I am not ‘Your Honor’.”

Eric didn’t let that deter him.

“Right. Apologies. Our beloved zephyr—“

“Oh my Lilith,” the council member groaned, closing their eyes. The council witness hid a snort with a cough. 

Still, Eric continued. 

“Is it or is it not true that the Old Songs specifically mention benign interactions with the non-magical world?”

Chanhee scoffed. “You’re bringing the Old Songs into this?”

“Why, isn’t that the most important text of our culture and the basis for our society as it is structured now?”

There was no way to deny that without sounding like a disrespectful little shit, and Chanhee’s face showed that. He let out a soft, yet unwilling, “Yes, of course.”

“It truly is,” Sangyeon added, rather stupidly, but he wanted to contribute now that he knew Eric was actually (miraculously?) turning things over in his favor. “The most important, no doubt.”

“Alright, we get it,” the council member cut them off. “Enough with the sweet talking. I’m old, not an idiot. Yes, the Old Songs do mention benign and true of heart interactions with the world of outsiders. Where does soap come into this?”

“Well,” Eric cleared his throat. He turned to Sangyeon, and the little smile he sent him made Sangyeon smile, too, before he could help it. “What are the charms you’ve been using in your recipes, Sangyeon?”

“Oh,” Sangyeon remembered just then that he was supposed to be defending his case here and not just watching Eric go full-on impassioned lawyer. “Oh, I charm my products with some minor Good Luck and Good Tidings spells. Sometimes a ward against nightmares too, if I have the time, but it’s nothing fancy because I’d have to actually meet the person to make the spells stronger and more effective… And my shop is one hundred percent online, so…”

The council member stared at him. “So you add magic to your products that your clients are not aware of?”

“Well, yes, but—“

“And it’s such weak magic and so thinned out between your products that it’s barely effective in the long term?”

“I’d, uh. I’d say that’s correct, yes.” 

“And you only use it for good?”

Sangyeon nodded, confident in his answer this time. “Yes.” 

“Ok. I see.” The council member stared at their fingers for a second before heaving out a long, weary sigh. “To think that I was present when they signed the treaty between witches and fairies after the Great Divide of 1479... And now I get to rule over soap. Soap sold on Instagram.”

They stood up behind the desk, drumming their fingers on the mahogany as they did so. 

“Ok, here’s what we’re gonna do,” they said. Sangyeon held his breath for a brief moment before deciding that was stupid. “You,” the council member pointed at him. “Keep selling your soaps. Don’t go overboard with the charms, though. Would hate to send you to actual witch court,” here they gave Eric a pointed look; Eric smirked, not even a little bit shamed, “because of godsdamned soap. And you,” they pointed at Chanhee. “You’ll go far with that sharp wit of yours if you stop squabbling over nonsense like this. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I need a drink.”

In a minute the council member was gone. Chanhee left right after them, head held high but ego clearly singed after the defeat. The witness stopped on his way out of the room to greet Eric, but then he was gone too, and Sangyeon was left with that megawatt smile Eric was giving him.

“You’re so proud of yourself, aren’t you?”

“Of course, I killed it,” Eric said, making Sangyeon laugh because ok, that was a cute smartass. “Best lawyer you could ever ask for.”

“You’re not a lawyer, though.”

“Except I bingewatched seven seasons of ‘Law & Order’ last month, so I’m practically one now.”

Sangyeon sighed. Tired, and relieved, but he played up the tired part to mess with Eric. “That’s not how that works.”

“Says who?”

“Literally everyone,” Sangyeon shot back as they walked out of the study. “But hey…”

Eric turned to him after closing the doors behind them. 

“Thanks. You didn’t need to do all that.”

The way Eric beamed at him made Sangyeon glad he didn’t have magically colored hair, otherwise he was almost certain his head would be betraying the cool and collected thing he was going for.

“If you wanna thank me,” Eric said, “buy me a drink.”

Sangyeon did have perfectly normal, functional cheeks, though, and there was nothing he could do about the way they were flushing now. Because of-fucking-course.

Weeks of flirting disguised as jokes, and that was the moment Eric chose to make a move. 

“You’re terrible,” Sangyeon said. Eric laughed at that, and Sangyeon cursed himself in his head for smiling. “Just downright evil. Did you know that?”

“Oh, yeah,” Eric said, simply, linking his arm with Sangyeon’s and walking down the hall with him. “I’ve been told that’s my charm.”