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A/N: if I had a heart (jukev, pirate au)
my third fest fic! and a pirate fic at that! as someone who used to be a huge fan of the original potc trilogy, this was so much fun to write... but also somewhat scary because worldbuilding! pirate au!!! so many little details I could - and probably did - get wrong!!
fic fests are always sort of a ride because as much as I love writing people's prompts, I'm not writing just for myself as I usually do, so there's some pressure to at least deliver something coherent? I really did have a lot of fun with this story though, and I like the end result, I think. could it be better? a hundred percent, yes. in more capable hands this prompt could be so much more. but I had fun, I didn't panic too much until I was like 90% through, and I got to write pirates again, so all in all, this was an incredible experience!!
the prompt this time was: "Juyeon inherits a ship and his father's tendency to run away. Set in a time when one must battle for his place on the high seas, Juyeon must decide if the captive prince is worth keeping aboard, and if he could choose to face his troubles this time.”
I knew three things going in.
1) I wanted to be careful with the way their relationship was gonna work, because captive/captor stories can (and usually do) go so wrong... that informed how I'd go about everything from worldbuilding to their dynamic itself;
2) I wanted to use as much of the prompt as possible because it gave me leeway to play with so many things at once: the father-son backstory, the dangers of life at sea, juyeon's motives for doing something so risky such as capturing a prince, his personal growth... lots of things to explore. I loved this prompt, it was rich and full of potential but vague enough that anyone could build from it too;
3) I wanted to have OT12 tbz by the end!
but that's literally all I knew. I suck so bad at planning.
I considered past tense for this fic because I default everything historical/fantasy-adjacent to past tense, but then decided against it because I wondered if that would be too much? jukev as characters + the context + the angsty bits were already a lot. making it present tense just felt safer. and I wanted it to not feel so distant, not as much a tale but something that's happening right now, with a sense of urgency and immediacy, if that makes sense?
anyway, I'll go over some bits and pieces!
fic fests are always sort of a ride because as much as I love writing people's prompts, I'm not writing just for myself as I usually do, so there's some pressure to at least deliver something coherent? I really did have a lot of fun with this story though, and I like the end result, I think. could it be better? a hundred percent, yes. in more capable hands this prompt could be so much more. but I had fun, I didn't panic too much until I was like 90% through, and I got to write pirates again, so all in all, this was an incredible experience!!
the prompt this time was: "Juyeon inherits a ship and his father's tendency to run away. Set in a time when one must battle for his place on the high seas, Juyeon must decide if the captive prince is worth keeping aboard, and if he could choose to face his troubles this time.”
I knew three things going in.
1) I wanted to be careful with the way their relationship was gonna work, because captive/captor stories can (and usually do) go so wrong... that informed how I'd go about everything from worldbuilding to their dynamic itself;
2) I wanted to use as much of the prompt as possible because it gave me leeway to play with so many things at once: the father-son backstory, the dangers of life at sea, juyeon's motives for doing something so risky such as capturing a prince, his personal growth... lots of things to explore. I loved this prompt, it was rich and full of potential but vague enough that anyone could build from it too;
3) I wanted to have OT12 tbz by the end!
but that's literally all I knew. I suck so bad at planning.
I considered past tense for this fic because I default everything historical/fantasy-adjacent to past tense, but then decided against it because I wondered if that would be too much? jukev as characters + the context + the angsty bits were already a lot. making it present tense just felt safer. and I wanted it to not feel so distant, not as much a tale but something that's happening right now, with a sense of urgency and immediacy, if that makes sense?
anyway, I'll go over some bits and pieces!
⚓️
“You do have him,” Younghoon says in a horrified whisper. “You have the prince.”
⚓️
It occurs to Juyeon just then how odd it is that the man, albeit faintly pale from being kept in the dark and seemingly harmless, looks far too unconcerned for someone who has been kept captive for so long now.
juyeon doesn't know how to read kevin at first, just how kevin doesn't know how to read juyeon. that's something I have a lot of fun playing with in writing: the character whose pov we're reading from isn't omniscient, he doesn't know everything. he can be mistaken. he can have trouble figuring out what the other character is feeling/thinking.
⚓️
this was hilariously unplanned. I started writing the attack and thought "wait. what if... cheeky, dangerous-with-a-sword hyunjae?" and ran with it. I had a smile on my face writing this whole sequence because it's hyunjae! with a sword! I love him so much. juyeon has the wrong idea about him, by the way - he wouldn't have killed juyeon in that fight, or ever. he's good with a sword, yeah, but he's not in it for the bloodshed. once juyeon gets to know him better, he'll see that too.
also, the idea of kevin coming to juyeon's aid here was so good, I love the concept of a last minute rescue. kevin's rationale for helping was self-preservation, mostly - the duchess crew isn't violent with him, but the new pirates could be dangerous. but helping juyeon feels right, too...
⚓️
“We do have more urgent things to worry about,” Haknyeon agrees. His voice comes out a little more nasal than usual, his nose still swollen, right cheek bruised. He’s resting his head against the rail, looking up at the night sky.
⚓️
“'Till homeward bound we be’,” Juyeon reads it now. “This was my father’s. This ship was his, too.”
“Are they still looking for me?”
this entire conversation says a lot about kevin, and about his relationship with his family. this line in particular I feel is quite telling (and sad), even if it flies right over juyeon's head.
⚓️
Juyeon has known Youngjae long enough to know this is a little more than he can handle.
youngjae is the sunshine on this ship. no one beats his joie de vivre, hands down. I had another pirate au that I wrote like, 300 words for last year in which he was this cheerful, happy-go-lucky pickpocket, so I kinda kept that motif going because I love the idea of youngjae as this pirate who's in it for the adventures he can have with his friends, more than he's in it for the money, or anything else. (also this island is 100% a potc reference.)
⚓️
He takes off his own coat, tapping Kevin’s blanketed form to give it to him.
I am but a simple person who loves the here-wear-my-coat trope. and the fact that this wasn't the only instance of this trope being used for jukev in the fest is just excellent.
⚓️
Juyeon smirks. “Give you a hat, and you’d look just like a pirate.”
foreshadowing! when I started having an idea of what I wanted the plan to look like. I had a lot of fun writing from juyeon's pov while still not giving away what his plan for kevin was, but it also nearly drove me crazy because I started wondering if it was too on the nose or worse, too vague? the more I reread it, the more I thought none of it was making sense.
⚓️
“I think it might have been the other way around. He tried to give it to her, she didn’t take it. So he wore it himself to remember her by.”
this is where I got to explore a bit of the original prompt, about "his father's tendency to run away". his father fell in love with a noblewoman but he could never leave the sea, and she didn't want to leave her life behind, either. so he left her, but still with the hope that one day they'd be together again. hence "till homeward bound we be", wherever "home" was for them.
⚓️
“We couldn’t have had more different lives. But at least you can say your father tried to be a good person. That’s more than I can say about my own parents.”
in some ways, this fic is similar to batbsof because it explores the idea that sometimes, our families just fucking suck. and what does that mean for us? how does that inform who we are as people, and how can that affect our relationship with ourselves and with the people around us?
⚓️
“Earrings are not practical,” Kevin adds after a pause. It sounds less like his words and more like he is repeating something he heard countless times before. “You should know. You wield a sword.”
I really, really loved writing these two. juyeon knows freedom that kevin doesn't, and vice versa. they really do come from entirely too different worlds, but at the end of the day, they crave very similar things. juyeon is starting to notice that; kevin is a little more resistant at first, but there's a lot going through his head in this scene. I think this is a turning point of sorts? it might not read that way but for them, as characters, this conversation shifts a lot of things. (that's also why I decided to split the chapters here; juyeon's pov indicates this is it - he's fallen for kevin at this point, even if he doesn't realize it yet.)
⚓️
“Rope burns. We all get them, that’s what the hand wraps are for.” He beckons Kevin over with a friendly nod, “Come here, let me take a look.”
I loved writing this scene so much. it's the scene I remember writing most vividly - I was so immersed. I love every variation of hurt/comfort so this is right up my alley!! not to mention their interactions were a bit of challenge because they have this way of talking that I joke comes from their charts being so capricorn-heavy. they're so careful with what they say! kevin is so confused, feeling so many things but afraid to let any of it show!
⚓️
He told Kevin he was sorry, then left. What good are words if they don’t mean anything?
juyeon is not his father. he assumes a lot of things about himself, but he gets a lot of it wrong. (don't we all...) he thinks he's just as bound to the sea as his father was; he thinks he can give up everything for the sea, like his father did. that was part of the prompt and something I loved mulling over: did he really inherit his father's tendency to run away? is he acting on instinct or giving weight to something that's not really there? and if he really did inherit that trait, can he go against it?
⚓️
He reaches the prince and stands between him and the building, grabbing his arms to stop him.
FUN FACT! this was supposed to be the last scene! LMAO at least I thought it would be for the first 8~9k words. but I kept thinking in the scenes leading up to it that nah, there's still a lot to untangle... I can't just leave things here, they're not there yet... so I kept writing.
⚓️
“It’s an incredible relief to see you alive, Hyungseo,” she says. “But I must say, I wish it was under different circumstances.”
⚓️
[...] and if anyone there were to find Younghoon is his friend (if anyone were to find he was the one feeding Juyeon information about the court and also the one feeding the court false information about Kevin’s whereabouts) that would be his end, too.
tbh younghoon's role in the story is just... as me as it gets. I knew from that first scene with him that he was helping them pull this off, a rich boy/nobleman terribly loyal to his pirate friends (and boyfriends!). but I didn't know to what extent until I got closer to this scene. the stakes were high for him too. dangerously high.
⚓️
“I think she was grieving for a long time after my father died,” Juyeon pauses, decides that’s the best he can do, and keeps going. “They weren’t together anymore, hadn’t been for years. But she must’ve loved him. She tried to find me, but by then I was already gone, and she had no way to contact me. All she had was my name, so she tried writing. One of her letters eventually reached me. The others… didn’t.”
it was a lot of fun brainstorming the story of juyeon's parents. I had a vague idea because of the ring and because of who juyeon's father was, but flipping that around and trying to expand on that from his mother's pov was super interesting. I swear, nothing makes me more excited than figuring out who the characters are and what their lives have been like from their own mouths. and I know this makes me sound either insane or pretentious af but I just really, really can't come up with good planning to save my life so if I don't let things flow I just get stuck and DIE.
⚓️
⚓️
Before he can explain that he can’t just do nothing, that he would never be able to live with himself if he didn’t try everything to get Kevin out of this, Kevin reaches between the bars, grabs his face and brings him in for a kiss.
genuinely one of my favorite kissing scenes I've ever written. the dialogue leading up to it, the angst!!!, the fact that it's the first time they're acknowledging and externalizing what they feel for each other. it's like, everything I like to read combined, so I was really happy that I could make it happen here too!! (I wanted kevin to initiate it, too, because I wanted him to be the one taking this first step and also because juyeon wouldn't even think to do it considering the circumstances.)
⚓️
Juyeon waits until the guard is gone to lift the bread and find the tiny piece of paper beneath it. He recognizes Younghoon’s small calligraphy right away.
fun fact! I wrote a handful of scenes (around 3k words?) from kevin's pov to figure out if what I had in mind made any sense. one of them was younghoon reaching out to kevin to join forces and get things moving. the crew of the duchess would be close by, but not too close, and they needed to find the daring dagger too, which is why they needed to work together. I like to think they knew each other already but in the way all rich people know each other: by name, from a distance, as the son of so-and-so, etc.
⚓️
As soon as they reach the front steps, Juyeon hears it: the crackling of fire, close enough that when he looks up, he sees the smoke billowing up west of them. He can’t see what is in flames, but he can hear the shouting of the guards trying to put it out.
younghoon set his carriage on fire. I love him.
⚓️
They can see the outline of their allied ships flanking The Duchess, including the Daring Dagger, and they can hear their crews preparing for what’s coming.
the duchess is now OT12 tbz, like I wanted it to be since the beginning! and the daring dagger is now helmed by wjsn's exy because yes. in my head, the daring dagger had a tbz+wjsn crew and no real (living) owner - it was an old, stolen ship that kept changing hands over the years. exy took over when sangyeon crossed over to the duchess that first time, and it worked out so well that the merge/crew change just made sense to all parties involved.
juyeon isn't that attached to the captain position, so they have a shared leadership of sorts going on. sangyeon deals better with some things, changmin with others, and juyeon can step up to his position as the actual captain when they need him to. it's a system that works.
(and I never made it explicit, but hak was the duchess' official cook, and really good with a gun too. chanhee ends up being the gunner because no one in the original crew stepped up to the position, and he thought the cannons were too valuable to not be used. sunwoo is the doctor/medicine guy on board because that's another thing ingrained in my brain for some reason.)
I loved writing this scene. this was when I started to see the plot taking shape, when I had that aha! moment of where I wanted the story to go.
⚓️
⚓️
“Your maps guy. I believe he introduced himself as Chanhee?”
funnily enough, I have another wip where chanhee is also in charge of maps/cartography! I didn't think too far ahead when I started writing, so chanhee befriending/subtly taking care of kevin whenever juyeon is not around wasn't planned, but I really liked sprinkling that in once I thought of it. it fits chanhee, and it particularly fits chanhee in this universe.
⚓️
It occurs to Juyeon just then how odd it is that the man, albeit faintly pale from being kept in the dark and seemingly harmless, looks far too unconcerned for someone who has been kept captive for so long now.
juyeon doesn't know how to read kevin at first, just how kevin doesn't know how to read juyeon. that's something I have a lot of fun playing with in writing: the character whose pov we're reading from isn't omniscient, he doesn't know everything. he can be mistaken. he can have trouble figuring out what the other character is feeling/thinking.
⚓️
“Oh, Juyeonie!” Jaehyun says, grinning almost too happy. “Long time no see!”
this was hilariously unplanned. I started writing the attack and thought "wait. what if... cheeky, dangerous-with-a-sword hyunjae?" and ran with it. I had a smile on my face writing this whole sequence because it's hyunjae! with a sword! I love him so much. juyeon has the wrong idea about him, by the way - he wouldn't have killed juyeon in that fight, or ever. he's good with a sword, yeah, but he's not in it for the bloodshed. once juyeon gets to know him better, he'll see that too.
also, the idea of kevin coming to juyeon's aid here was so good, I love the concept of a last minute rescue. kevin's rationale for helping was self-preservation, mostly - the duchess crew isn't violent with him, but the new pirates could be dangerous. but helping juyeon feels right, too...
⚓️
“We do have more urgent things to worry about,” Haknyeon agrees. His voice comes out a little more nasal than usual, his nose still swollen, right cheek bruised. He’s resting his head against the rail, looking up at the night sky.
I have a soft spot for hak in this universe (I mean lol what a surprise). he's the odd one out in the crew, not really close to the others, and only there for juyeon. the way I imagined it, he feels indebted to juyeon for something that happened in their past. he's loyal to a fault, and he'll be around for as long as juyeon needs him, until the very end if need be. so when the crews merge at the end, he's the one who ends up benefiting the most from it. he finds friendship and love, and ends up getting closer to the original crew too. if I were to write a spin-off/sequel, it would most likely be from his pov or with him as one of the main characters.
⚓️
“'Till homeward bound we be’,” Juyeon reads it now. “This was my father’s. This ship was his, too.”
I had critrole on the brain when I started writing this, so this is a quote from, uh. a version of my favorite CR character. same reason I gave changmin two scimitars, because that character had that kind of sword, and I'm physically incapable of writing changmin as anything but cool af. somehow this quote inspired me for a great deal of the plot.
⚓️
“Are they still looking for me?”
this entire conversation says a lot about kevin, and about his relationship with his family. this line in particular I feel is quite telling (and sad), even if it flies right over juyeon's head.
⚓️
Juyeon has known Youngjae long enough to know this is a little more than he can handle.
[...]
“This island used to be on the route of some, uhm—” Youngjae is trying not to laugh as he hands a bottle to Kevin, looking for the right words, “—friends. Liquor traders. [...]"
youngjae is the sunshine on this ship. no one beats his joie de vivre, hands down. I had another pirate au that I wrote like, 300 words for last year in which he was this cheerful, happy-go-lucky pickpocket, so I kinda kept that motif going because I love the idea of youngjae as this pirate who's in it for the adventures he can have with his friends, more than he's in it for the money, or anything else. (also this island is 100% a potc reference.)
⚓️
He takes off his own coat, tapping Kevin’s blanketed form to give it to him.
I am but a simple person who loves the here-wear-my-coat trope. and the fact that this wasn't the only instance of this trope being used for jukev in the fest is just excellent.
⚓️
Juyeon smirks. “Give you a hat, and you’d look just like a pirate.”
foreshadowing! when I started having an idea of what I wanted the plan to look like. I had a lot of fun writing from juyeon's pov while still not giving away what his plan for kevin was, but it also nearly drove me crazy because I started wondering if it was too on the nose or worse, too vague? the more I reread it, the more I thought none of it was making sense.
⚓️
“I think it might have been the other way around. He tried to give it to her, she didn’t take it. So he wore it himself to remember her by.”
this is where I got to explore a bit of the original prompt, about "his father's tendency to run away". his father fell in love with a noblewoman but he could never leave the sea, and she didn't want to leave her life behind, either. so he left her, but still with the hope that one day they'd be together again. hence "till homeward bound we be", wherever "home" was for them.
⚓️
“We couldn’t have had more different lives. But at least you can say your father tried to be a good person. That’s more than I can say about my own parents.”
in some ways, this fic is similar to batbsof because it explores the idea that sometimes, our families just fucking suck. and what does that mean for us? how does that inform who we are as people, and how can that affect our relationship with ourselves and with the people around us?
⚓️
“Earrings are not practical,” Kevin adds after a pause. It sounds less like his words and more like he is repeating something he heard countless times before. “You should know. You wield a sword.”
“I know. But I like wearing them. And who’s gonna stop me?”
[...]
“There are monsters everywhere,” Juyeon reminds him instead. “Doesn’t mean we’re all monsters. You of all people should know that.”
I really, really loved writing these two. juyeon knows freedom that kevin doesn't, and vice versa. they really do come from entirely too different worlds, but at the end of the day, they crave very similar things. juyeon is starting to notice that; kevin is a little more resistant at first, but there's a lot going through his head in this scene. I think this is a turning point of sorts? it might not read that way but for them, as characters, this conversation shifts a lot of things. (that's also why I decided to split the chapters here; juyeon's pov indicates this is it - he's fallen for kevin at this point, even if he doesn't realize it yet.)
⚓️
“Rope burns. We all get them, that’s what the hand wraps are for.” He beckons Kevin over with a friendly nod, “Come here, let me take a look.”
I loved writing this scene so much. it's the scene I remember writing most vividly - I was so immersed. I love every variation of hurt/comfort so this is right up my alley!! not to mention their interactions were a bit of challenge because they have this way of talking that I joke comes from their charts being so capricorn-heavy. they're so careful with what they say! kevin is so confused, feeling so many things but afraid to let any of it show!
⚓️
He told Kevin he was sorry, then left. What good are words if they don’t mean anything?
“I think I made a mistake,” he admits. To Jacob, but to himself too.
juyeon is not his father. he assumes a lot of things about himself, but he gets a lot of it wrong. (don't we all...) he thinks he's just as bound to the sea as his father was; he thinks he can give up everything for the sea, like his father did. that was part of the prompt and something I loved mulling over: did he really inherit his father's tendency to run away? is he acting on instinct or giving weight to something that's not really there? and if he really did inherit that trait, can he go against it?
⚓️
He reaches the prince and stands between him and the building, grabbing his arms to stop him.
FUN FACT! this was supposed to be the last scene! LMAO at least I thought it would be for the first 8~9k words. but I kept thinking in the scenes leading up to it that nah, there's still a lot to untangle... I can't just leave things here, they're not there yet... so I kept writing.
⚓️
“It’s an incredible relief to see you alive, Hyungseo,” she says. “But I must say, I wish it was under different circumstances.”
Juyeon glances at Kevin. He’s never heard that name before, but Kevin doesn’t correct her.
when I first started writing this, I wondered if I should stick to korean names (like I did in batbsof). kevin is just "prince moon" at first so I didn't have to make a decision right away. but as his personality/background started taking shape in my head, I decided that no, names matter here. in a fic that deals so much with identity, finding your freedom and your place in the world, names are a part of that. pirates can choose names for themselves, and they come from all parts of the world, which is why jacob is jacob, and not joonyoung. so when kevin asks juyeon to call him "kevin", it means something too. he's making a choice, except juyeon doesn't realize that until this scene. to the world he's only ever prince moon, to his family he's hyungseo, but aboard juyeon's ship, he can use the name he's most comfortable with.
⚓️
[...] and if anyone there were to find Younghoon is his friend (if anyone were to find he was the one feeding Juyeon information about the court and also the one feeding the court false information about Kevin’s whereabouts) that would be his end, too.
If they can keep the royal prince in shackles, who knows what they would do to the Governor’s son?
tbh younghoon's role in the story is just... as me as it gets. I knew from that first scene with him that he was helping them pull this off, a rich boy/nobleman terribly loyal to his pirate friends (and boyfriends!). but I didn't know to what extent until I got closer to this scene. the stakes were high for him too. dangerously high.
⚓️
“I think she was grieving for a long time after my father died,” Juyeon pauses, decides that’s the best he can do, and keeps going. “They weren’t together anymore, hadn’t been for years. But she must’ve loved him. She tried to find me, but by then I was already gone, and she had no way to contact me. All she had was my name, so she tried writing. One of her letters eventually reached me. The others… didn’t.”
it was a lot of fun brainstorming the story of juyeon's parents. I had a vague idea because of the ring and because of who juyeon's father was, but flipping that around and trying to expand on that from his mother's pov was super interesting. I swear, nothing makes me more excited than figuring out who the characters are and what their lives have been like from their own mouths. and I know this makes me sound either insane or pretentious af but I just really, really can't come up with good planning to save my life so if I don't let things flow I just get stuck and DIE.
⚓️
Juyeon raises his head to meet Kevin’s piercing (lovely, warm, deep as the ocean and just as sublime) eyes.
one of my favorite lines! juyeon sees kevin for who he is now. the mask is off.
⚓️
Before he can explain that he can’t just do nothing, that he would never be able to live with himself if he didn’t try everything to get Kevin out of this, Kevin reaches between the bars, grabs his face and brings him in for a kiss.
genuinely one of my favorite kissing scenes I've ever written. the dialogue leading up to it, the angst!!!, the fact that it's the first time they're acknowledging and externalizing what they feel for each other. it's like, everything I like to read combined, so I was really happy that I could make it happen here too!! (I wanted kevin to initiate it, too, because I wanted him to be the one taking this first step and also because juyeon wouldn't even think to do it considering the circumstances.)
⚓️
Juyeon waits until the guard is gone to lift the bread and find the tiny piece of paper beneath it. He recognizes Younghoon’s small calligraphy right away.
friends on their way. getting help. wait.
fun fact! I wrote a handful of scenes (around 3k words?) from kevin's pov to figure out if what I had in mind made any sense. one of them was younghoon reaching out to kevin to join forces and get things moving. the crew of the duchess would be close by, but not too close, and they needed to find the daring dagger too, which is why they needed to work together. I like to think they knew each other already but in the way all rich people know each other: by name, from a distance, as the son of so-and-so, etc.
⚓️
As soon as they reach the front steps, Juyeon hears it: the crackling of fire, close enough that when he looks up, he sees the smoke billowing up west of them. He can’t see what is in flames, but he can hear the shouting of the guards trying to put it out.
younghoon set his carriage on fire. I love him.
⚓️
They can see the outline of their allied ships flanking The Duchess, including the Daring Dagger, and they can hear their crews preparing for what’s coming.
the duchess is now OT12 tbz, like I wanted it to be since the beginning! and the daring dagger is now helmed by wjsn's exy because yes. in my head, the daring dagger had a tbz+wjsn crew and no real (living) owner - it was an old, stolen ship that kept changing hands over the years. exy took over when sangyeon crossed over to the duchess that first time, and it worked out so well that the merge/crew change just made sense to all parties involved.
juyeon isn't that attached to the captain position, so they have a shared leadership of sorts going on. sangyeon deals better with some things, changmin with others, and juyeon can step up to his position as the actual captain when they need him to. it's a system that works.
(and I never made it explicit, but hak was the duchess' official cook, and really good with a gun too. chanhee ends up being the gunner because no one in the original crew stepped up to the position, and he thought the cannons were too valuable to not be used. sunwoo is the doctor/medicine guy on board because that's another thing ingrained in my brain for some reason.)
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